forbidden love,torrid affairs
by laurennicolecullen
Summary: bella's a student at forks high ,edwards her teacher but with edward's wife and kid in tow can they have an affair to last without anyone finding out.A hurt bella ,A confuzed edward leads to some very intense forbidden moments and lots of secret lemons!
1. prologue

_**i have been reading these stories for a while and i have never found the perfect balance of what i wanted .So i decided to write my own.**_

_**if you like this idea please leave a review and i will post the first chapter which is ready and waiting .**_

_**bytthe time i have 10 reviewers i will post this up.**_

_**this story will contains plot twists and cliff hangers soo be prepared and also some very forbidden activities especially at school so please dont try and find a teacher to try this story out on lol**_

**prologue**

Why did this have to happen to me!!!!!.

I was soo content in my own little world ,I didnt mean for this to happen . I didnt plan on becoming a homewreaker either .

But huh, I guess thats the way life works - then life offically sucks in my opinion.

I hate this place ,I hate him ,but mostly I hate myself for even feeling things I shouldn't.

I should of known better to fall in love ,to let myself get soo suck into my own litte world were everything was alright and me and edward were a couple.

But outside this little perfect world,this bubble that I created -was the harsh reality I was going to have to face.

You see in the real world Edward and I were not a couple,we couldn't be seen in public We hadnt met each others families or friends -as that was forbidden.

we were forbidden

I mean what was I gonna say ,if indroduced him to my father .

Hey dad this is edward the man I have been having a torrid affair by the way he's married has a child and just incase I left this detail out hes also my I just happen to love soo much that the pain im feeling right now is screwing me over in ways I can't even imagine .

Hi my name is Bella Swan, and yes im having an affair with my teacher .


	2. Chapter 1

_**ok i know that there was some typos in the first chapter because near the end fanfiction left out the word teacher in bella's little ramble.**_

_**Everytime i upload it always seems to well**_

_**Im glad you liked that teaser anyway hopefully you enjoy the first chapter and im working on the second right now.**_

_**Please review and tell me do you like it ...and do you like bella.**_

_**also i think i might need a beta any up for it?xxxxx**_

_**_________________________________________________________________________**_

_**chapter one**_

So were do I begin to explain how this whole mess began,I guess its best to start with the first feeling the first moment I knew that this unknown twist,this change would eventually shatter my heart.

Even though the love that grew was strange, it was confuzing .but the one great thing about it was that it was mine.

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I lay there in my bedroom knowing that It was the end off yet another uneventful summer with my dad ,in a little town called forks which unfortunately I had call my home.

Don't get me wrong I love my dad Charlie,but Forks on the other hand was a completly different subject all together;I hate it.

Forks was a little town were everyone was in each others business and life's ;it was a town full of gossips.

Let's just say Forks was average meaning it was unbelivably dull,boring and most of all it was predictable.

It was like my life was already set in stone.

Go to school with the same people ,be friends with the same people,then get hitched to someone you know ,and then breed a bucket load of kids ,and then start the horrible cycle all over again ,until generations to come.

I sighed ,knowing to well that I had to escape this town as soon as possible.I didn't want to be yet another clone of the women trapped here in 's why I have made the decision to go to college as far away from here as I can get.

The only person holding me here right now is my dad, I know that he needs me ,since my mom passed about 7 years hasn't been the same capable person he used to be .It was like a part of him left with her.

I was brought out of my thoughts by a large buzzing it was my alarm.

With a deep exhale I tumbled out of bed and made my way down to the kitchen,my dad was already gone. He was the chief of police which lead him to be called away to bigger cities for a few days at a time.

As I sat down to my cereal, I realized that today I would have to go back and face the people of forks high;oh joy my first day as a senior.

When I finshed I made my way up to bathroom to get a shower hoping that it would relax the ball of tension I was carrying in my back.

I dried off,and prepared myself for what was to come of today-_nothing._

Once dressed I made my way downstairs,today I had chose to wear a simple pair of faded jeans,with a round neck white tee,and my faithful converse and black cargo jacket.

My best friend alice would probably shame me on what I was wearing but hay who was I trying to impress ...Mike Newton?ha.

Well I suppose I was about to find out what she thought of my oh so adventurous outfit, she was entering the driveway.I grabbed backpack and headed I was greeted by a fancy,sleek BMW.

I closed the front door and headed to the was already outside and waiting. Her tiny frame pressed up against the hood.

ummmm what way could explain the adorable Alice off remind ones self never to call her adorable to her face,because she was like a little pitbull most of the time,and that was on her good days.

Alice was short ,with a pixie like frame and face to had a crazy little black mop on hair on her head,which stuck out in many directions,and she would never been caught dead in something that was "last season" to quote her.

Whilst I was her complete polar opposite ,I don't even know what last season means.

I guess opposites attract and all that,because we were bestfriends.

Once I reached her I saw she was full of excitment ,she was practically bouncing up and down-_what a mental patient_.

"Bell's come on cheer up ,its first day back!!"

I turned away ignoring her as made my way into the car,

"Alice its forks high,what is so exciting about that ,what do we have to look forward to?... balding teachers and the pain in my ass Mike newton?!"

She chuckled at my sneering.

"Honestly Bell's just think it's last year of forks and then you will be out of here ,come on perk up just a little bit"

I smiled holding on to that thought.

"See I knew that would make you feel better,now bell's ,now I have one more favour to ask please let me dress you tomorrow!"she looked down disgracing my outfit, I felt for my poor little converse as they met pixie hell's raging eyes.

I let out a sigh,

"Fine!!!!!!!! but only if you leave my converse alone ,and stop with all the smile bella bullshit okay? "

"Whatever, you are so going to regret letting me dress you ,by the way torture will commence at 7am tomorrow ,so be prepared"

she cackled,I can not believe she actually cackled.

But I had to do it ,I had to protect my converse!,a few hours wouldn't be too bad if it saved there humble lives!.

*******************

It was lunch time.

Nothing eventful had happened,again same people same place ,old news. I really shouldn't of been surprised.

I looked across the table to see Alice and Rosalie, my other close friend in deep conversation. Giggling to themselves.

I leaned closer to the table trying to figure out what was so my concentration seem to be interrupted by a loud booming laughter that was ochoing out from next to me.

Emmett.

He has been Rosalie's boyfriend been for about two years now .It didn't surprise me that they ended up together . _Beautiful people had to find themselves together eventually,right?._

All Im saying is that if they were to pro-create that those children would be like perfect beings,with Rose's glossy blonde hair ,pale blue eyes and creamy skin,her little girl would be heart breaking and beautiful,and if they had a little boy he would just be as perfect with Emmett's dimples ,curly brown hair and bearly figure.

I turned around to see that Emmett was still laughing.-_ how was that even possible!._

"Seriously Em what's so funny that you still can be laughing for five minutes straight!"

"Bell's you .....this morning....when...you...when....you....fell...it was comic genious!" _crap I forgot about that most of my fall's basically are just apart of my daily routine now ,i'm clumsy and I accept it._

Before I came back with a witty reponse ,I saw rose's hand swiftly moving to the back of his head slapping graciously tellling him " To shut the fuck up".

He did ,but he now had a face like a hurt puppy -_what a big child!_

I turned back around to find Alice and Rose in the same deep conversation.

"Seriously,what's going on thats soo interesting ,that Im not included in the conversation!?"

"Nothing bella ,stop being so paranoid,although you will find out on your own eventually" they giggled._Great I wasn't paranoid before, but I definately am now !. What do they mean I will find out soon enough anyway..what the hell does that mean? ..they could of been talking german for all the sense that made!_

_"_fine then,have your way!!!" I huffed at them.

Grabbing my tray ,I got up and left the table,storming my way towards the of a sudden a large drillling bell came ringing through the lunch area.,stopping me dead in my tracks

_Yes finally ,lunch is over now I can go to my safe haven, the one class I understand ,the one I enjoy english._

I made my way out of the cantine down the hall's hurrying myself to get there quicker ,but also watching I didn't fall, trip or injure myself on the way.

I finally realized that Alice had joined me on my trip up the halls ,I didnt even notice to be honest_.its freaky sometimesthe way she does that! I can't even hear her approaching._

"Soo Bella looking forward to English today?"she chuckled.

"umm yeah I guess ,I cant wait to get back and see Miss Cope though I really missed her wit about certain period characters"

_I really cant wait though Miss Cope made lit so much more lively .She did little plays and skits about mr darcy which sometimes where the highlights of my days.I'm sad I know._

_We had reached the classroom by miss cope's "reading addicts ahead "sign wasnt on the door._

"Well Bella don't be to dissappoined Miss cope has changed alot over the actually what me and Rose where talking about"she supressed a giggle.

_"_Listen Alice really what's so funny???,just tell me now im about to find out anyway!"I glared at her.

"Better not keep your quest for knowledge waiting then bella! have fun"she whispered into my ear as she pludged me into the classroom.

I tryed to catch my balance before I reached the floor.

But it was hopeless.

My converse had caught in the frame when that pixie from hell pushed me!

Next thing I knew I was lying on the cold tiled floor faced down.

Funnily enough I could still hear the chime of Alices' laughter from down the hall._bitch._

Sighing I pushed my body up from the floor ready to meet faces of laughter.I lifted my face to Be met by a pair of deep green eyes iris .

_Wooooahh!.....Huh this wasn't Miss cope!!!!_

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_**A/N-please review and ill put up the next chapter what would you like next epov of his first day or the continuation of this scene**_

_**I hope you all got my quite insane personality with the converse ,yes my friends do actually have to listen to things like that daily!**_

_**tell me what you think i promise i dont bite !!!!!!!**_

_**thanks ,i love you all for taking time to read this and review u all are little blessings xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_


	3. Chapter 2

_**hey guys heres the next chapter i hope you like this one i hate these introduction chapters i would love for bella and edward to just like jump each other but its not going to happen ,i want to make this semi believable.**_

_**So bella will not have to help edward in anykind of way after school there will be no after school activities for a while but once there is i promise that they will be good! secret notes ayone.**_

_**yeah to Epov i think i will do some but just not right now i think the story needs to be bella focused ,but believe there's a reason why and you will see it in my next update.**_

_**Chapter Two- Feelings,Butterflies and The Continuation**_

_Where the hell is Miss Cope ...and more importantly who the hell is he !!??..wait Alice said she went through a change...not a sex change right ?...no she couldn't ...could she??_

I shook my head no she wouldn't.I'm just beinging insane,I guess multiple falls will do that to a person.

Whilst trying to prop myself up ,I saw his perfect hand reaching out to mine,I grabbed his hand pulling my body off the floor, into an upright position.

As soon as I was standing he let his hand go from a moment I felt strange like almost a part of me was gone ,when our hands separated ._Get a grip Bella ,its only his hand!!!._

_"_Miss Swan I presume??"his magical voice whispered.I swear his voice was like chocolate,melted and addictive.

"umm ...huh...ammmm...yea..h...sorry ...im Miss Swan .....but ....call me....... Bella??"_great now he's going to think your slow!!!!_

"Well its nice for you to make such an entrance,Miss Swan,but I would like to get along with class now if you don't mind."

I looked at him confuzingly _wait what your now my teacher?._

"I can see from the look on your face also, you haven't got the fainest idea who I am do you??. umm I guess news doesn't travel so fast then does it?"he chuckled._God his laugh was like angels singing ,like a melody._

"No sorry I don't,so would you care to explain to me who you are as I would like to know my new teacher's name at least?"

I scanned the room seeing that everyone else was still in their own little worlds meaning that they weren't going to interupt this conversation either ,thank god.

"Yes sorry i'm Mister Cullen,and I will be your teacher for literature for the rest of the year. Miss Cope has taken ill and is unable to teach your class"

All I could do right now was nod ,because my eyes had finally reach the rest of his body and woah!!!!.

He had deep green eyes,that you just could get lost in ,along with that kissable mouth, touchable jaw and a bronzed ruffle of hair that your hands could live in.

I had never seen anyone like him.

Mr cullen's body was lean and he was quite lanky as well ,He wore a button up white striped shirt with the sleeves wrapped up around his forarms ,with long grey stone slacks and ,black business like shoes .

I let my eyes selfishly trail back up his body taking him in one more time ,and there it was!!. Yet another thing making him unattainable,a wedding ring.

_Great just great.I knew it was totally laughable that I even considered him to be single!._

Hearing a thoart clear,my eyes shot back up to his,it was him._Crap I think he realized what I was doing there_._double crap! with a fucking cherry on please just open and and swallow me whole right now ,please im begging here!_

He leaned in closer whispering into my I felt heat rushing through my body and flushing onto my tension holding between our bodies was painful almost.

"Miss Swan please take your seat and let us begin".

As he walked back to the board I sheeplisly bowed my head and took my seat.

As I sat down,I let my full attention and focus go completly to Mr Cullen.I watched him turn slowing around from the board until he was facing the entire class.

"I would like to take a Chance to introduce myself i'm Mr Cullen,and I will be teaching your class for the rest of the your orginal teacher has taken ill and can not teach your I would ask you to refrain from questioning me on your teacher's absence as I know as much as you do."

He continued,

"So why don't we introduce our selves as I personally would like to know a bit more about you all instead of a name and a is there anyone who would want to start us off then?he chuckled,looking directly at me.

But before I could even attempt to release my self from the chair I saw that jessica stanely had already marched her way to the front of the class_,huh I guess she's excited._

"Well im Jessica and umm my favorite colour is green, and I love to read!!"she chuckled .She was actually batting her eyelashes. I totally got the green comment like his eyes ,a bit too obvious I think.

" Jessica just out of interest what exactly do you like to read..any classic or novels I would know of ?" his sweet chocolaty voice repiled.

Taking my eyes off Mr Cullen,I looked at Jess who had turned two shades of bright red and was looking at her shoes,

"Ummm not..... books......... fashion magazine mostly....?"she confessed.

She should of just said one of the books from our reading list this summer ...oh wait her reading list would of been magazines,typical.

"Well ok then Miss Stanely please take your seat,and we shall continue with everyone else ,so whos next"he laughed.

He looked like he enjoyed getting to know new people even if they make a fool out of themselves*coughs*Jess.

A couple people went next ,mostly the boys.I didnt really care at this moment and time,I was too content in watching this beautiful creature that god had blessed forks and me with.I could sit like this forever watching just watching ,looking at the facial expressions trying to figur out what emotion he was feeling.

For instance when Mike had stood up ,he had said something about girls,I dont know exaclty,because I wasnt listening but it seemed to make Mr cullen's brow furrow with distaste, causing him to look in my direction._what had mike said something about me ...eww pervo._

Then I heard a voice from the back shout out ,

"Mr Cullen can you tell us a little something about yourself then since we are all telling you about ourselves??"

I didnt know who it was nor did I care ,but if I were to assume it would probably be one of the many other girls who are currently leaving a pool of drool on their table.

All of a sudden his gaze seem to move to me, he spoke like he was telling only me.I dropped my eyes to my table feeling my cheeks burning,giving my away yet again.I decided to look back up and I was yet again greeted by a pair of intense green eyes that were smouldering in conflict.

_I need to breathe or something before I pass out come on get a grip,this is information you actually want and need to hear!_

"Well my full name is Edward Masen Cullen,and I have been happily married ..well married for five years now.I also have an adorable daughter called Ness who is two years old now,she's like my little ray of hope,also this is my first year of teaching as I just graduated from Yale."he sighed.

Wait he was sighing what was wrong and why had he corrected himself on the happily married thing .I don't understand how could he not be happy ?and who is making him so unhappy ,his I knew he loved his daughter as I saw the light and love shining through-out his eyes when he mention her name.

With that the bell rang through ending class,I can't believe it's ended so quickly,im praying that tomorrow comes soon. Mr Cullen was different to anyone I have ever met,and I needed to know more.

Sighing I picked up my books and made my way out of the clasroom,ummm this year is going to be strange I can feel it already.

_**sorry this is soo short but i got so little reviews and i cant write when i dont know what u think so the more you review the more i write and the quicker you will be able to read the good stuff.**_

_**please review I want at least five reviews and then i will put up the next chapter ,btw its a good one,best one yet**_

_**so come on five reviews and i will update**_

_**xxxxxx**_


	4. Chapter 3

_**disclamer i forgot about this----i do not own twilight,only in my dreams boo! love ms meyer though she's a legend.**_

_**any way hope u enjoy this chapter i loved this one ,but u might not,but i hope u do and i hope u think my planning is orginal ,well kinda of any way.**_

_**xxxx**_

_**Chapter three-trees,battered novels,and lost kiddies**_

So it had been a week ,four days, 8 hours and 22 minutes that I had first been introduced to Mr cullen.

I sat here in the park under my favorite tree with a battered copy of Jane Eyre in hand.I had decided to brush up on it before class tomorrow.

Mr Cullen had spent the past week going through writing structures, breakdowns and explainations of each character within the book before we were even allowed to lift the novel.

I was glad that he had picked Jane Eyre ,I mean he was smart brilliant and totally fuckable so I really shouldn't of been surprised.

Although I was really lucky he had because since he has started teaching I never took notes or really payed attention.I mean of course my eyes where always glued to him,but it seemed to work that when I did stare at his lips I never heard a single word he uttered.

The price I have to pay I suppose.

But the worst part seem to be was when he caught me staring ,cause his eyes would hold me there staring wide opened in awe that he was actually paying me some attention.

It would happened for seconds and as soon as I felt the heat rise to my face I would bury my face into the book and not look up until I knew he wasn't paying me any attention.

So I could continue to perv on him,yes im really that sad ,but who cares ,I live in Forks and if perving ,lusting and dreaming about my teacher gets me through this year let the vuglar thoughts roam free! I say.

It's strange though ,I have never actually came to this park,I mean it was just outside Forks but I hadn't set foot into this place since I was younger and back in the days when I found it apporiate to be seen outside the house with my father.

But ever since mister Cullen had started working at Forks high ,I seemed to push the limits of my truck to this place everyday after school.I would stay until I knew it was time to leave,as Charlie would be getting home.

I found it peaceful,a quiet place to think unless it was filled with little children running around like mental patients let loose ,but hay thats what ipods where invented for._The tuning out of children!_

This place became part of my daily routine I would wake up go to school,spend time with friends, count down the minutes to english class, then count down the minutes until school finshed and I could come to my safe haven.

It was thursday today,The park was peaceful apart from the chatter of women who passed me on there anual thursday gossip jog.

So with that I snuggled into the trunk of the tree and cosied into a blanket ,throwing myself into the world of Jane and Mr Rochester.

I was about thirty pages in before I was interupted by a tapping on my shoulder.I turned aroung to be introduced to a small little girl crying her beautiful little eyes out.I pulled out my earphones to see what was the matter.

"What's wrong are you ok.... where's your mummy or daddy?"I questioned hoping that she understood.

But that only seem to make the child cry even was quite sad,because it was like watching an angel cry, little girl was the most angelic little thing I had ever seen.

She had tight little bronzed curls falling from her face and the most tiny, littlest, cutest features you could of ever imagined especially her big green puffy eyes,those eyes could melt your heart ,because mine was already like goo.

I pulled her onto my lap and snuggled her to my chest hushing her eventually stop crying but I could still hear her heavily breathing and quietly sobbing into my chest.

I stood up whilst never letting go of the little angel. I assumed she must of been lost or she had waddled away from her parents.

I felt her little head lift from my chest and I was greeted by her big red eyes.

"Ok were going to look for your mummy or daddy" I told her,while I rubbed her back,hoping it would clam her.

"daddy ,daddy"I heard her mumble.

"Lets go look for your silly dilly daddy then"I cooed,hoping to make her giggle,which it did.

I started walking down the hill,towards the park hoping that I would find her parents looking for her,probably worried,I hope they didnt take it the wrong way if they found me holding their child.

I looked down at the little angel to see that she had fallen asleep craddled in my arms,all that crying must of made her sleepy,bless.

I continued to walk throught the park hoping that someone would know who this child was,I decided to look at the most common places for children to be found.

The park,The pond,The flower garden,nope nothing ,I started to wonder was I just missing her parents where ever I had looked.

Thats when I heard a man's voice shouting a someone's name but I couldn't make him out. I decided to follow the shouting,it was worth a try I thought.

The voice seemed to coming from the direction I had orginally I got closer I heard the name being shouted was was the perfect name for this angelic angel it matched her perfectly,orginal and beautiful all the same.

I quicken my pace knowing that this little girl must be returned to her family and I must return to mine,before Charlie takes a panic attack and sends out a search party,seriously I wouldn't be surprised he had done it before.

But the closer I got to the voice the more I realized, I knew this it couldn't be ,please ,please dont let it be.

But it was ,the voice had carried me back to the swing set ,but I knew I would of seen him when I had checked,who could miss was like a neon sigh saying " perfection!."

Seening that his back was facing me ,I decide to walk towards him,taking deep breathes with every step I took.

Once I reached him,I had realized that he hadn't heard me approach,as he was still yelling her name.I knew it was definately his little girl she had eyes like his and bronzed mess of hair exactly like his.

With that I cleared my thoart,

"Excuse me,but I think I have what your looking for"I stuttered.

I watched his body slowly turn around to face me,and stare balnkly at me,

"Bella?"

"Yes It's me and I think I have found something thats belongs to you,well more she found me ,but anyway she's fine she's just sleeping,I think all that crying made her tired"

"Bella ,thank you so much I turned around and when I turned back she was gone I mean one minute she sliding down the slide and the next minute she's gone,thank you ,thank you for returning this little devil angel to me"he chuckled,as he placed Reneesme back into his arms . she fit perfectly.

"Really Mr Cullen it's fine,she wasn't hurt at all,she was with me the whole time and she's been asleep for the most part,she will probably forget all this in the morning anyway" I replied.

I was trying to calm him down he looked so worked up and angry with himself for losing her, for the most part he was sad,I hated seening him like that.

Actually to be truthful he had looked sad and lonely for the past couple of days and it really had been troubling me what was wrong,but I refrained from asking him,it wasn't any of my business.I was his student and I should just keep my nose out of other people's lifes ,especially my teachers!.

"But bella, I can not begin to thank you soo happy that she found you and not someone bella could I please ask you a favour please call me Edward outside school,as hearing Mr cullen five days a week is horrible enough without being called it outside too.I'll turn into a balding middled aged man at this rate" he chuckled,snuggling his daugher closer to his chest.

_The women who was married to him was the luckiest woman alive.I mean a beautiful daughter and a loving I offically hate her now! ,God I sound like such a teenager._

"umm ok Mr cullen....sorry I mean Edward.......I will catch on to the whole name thing eventually"I sighed.

"It's ok bella,but can I ask you yet another favour ,I know im asking alot of you and you dont have to,since you have found my daughter after I stupidly lost her,but could you carry Ness as I need to collect our things and I wouldn't be able nurse her as well as carry them"he whispered.

I noticed that Nessie had started to stir,so I quietly nodded as I lifted her from her daddy's arm's and rested her into the knook of mine .I looked down at her little body while I was walking with Edward .Realizing she must of been cold,It was darker outside ,and all her frame was covered with was a little dress that was white with a lemon ruffle trim,it was adorable,but i didn't want her to get sick.

So gently moving frame against my chest,I reached for my blanket in my bag and wrapped it around her little body.I couldn't take my eyes off this perfect little creature before me.

Edward had ran on to a bench that was close to the swings,and had collected Nessie's things.I now understood why he couldn't carry her,they had brought a toystore with was even holding a small dora bike in his hands along with her bag , teddy and many other things,to be honest I didn't know what half of them were.

Once he reached us he looked down at Nessie beaming a huge really was a proud father,she was like his own little personal raybeam.

"I hope you don't mind but would you carry her down to the car with me"he looked pleading at this point,I dont think he could juggle another thing.

"Sure I don't mind,but after that I must be going,you know I do have school tomorrow"

"yes I Suppose you do,if you want bella I will let you off with not having the reading done for tomorrow since you were helping me,you deserve it"

"No Mr cull....I mean Edward it's fine,I got to finsh the chapters before you little munchkin found me"I laughed.

"Ahh ok then"I saw he was still laughing to himself about my munchkin comment.

I looked up at him after a few minutes to find him staring ,I assumed he was just checking on his daughter.

"You know you really look right with you know she could be mistaken for your daughter .She never lets anyone hold her like that without screaming,she must of been really taken to you bella" he was gazing at me now.

_I noticed that we were in the car park and next to his volvo now,and I still hadn't responded to his comment.I mean what was I suppose to say I wish she was my daughter and I wish you were the father ,no I couldn't he was just beening nice to me ,hell I would be if someone ever found my daughter,especailly if it was one of my pupils._

"yeah I guess so, I have always loved children,I guess never having any siblings that's quite a strange thing,but I suppose its just in my nature,any way if all children where like this little gem,having kids would be easy peasy"I forced a laugh trying to lighten the mood.

"It seems so,Im just glad she didnt bite you.....well at least you know you will be able to handle children if you have any especailly if you can control this little beast"He sighed ,whilst lifting nessie out of my arms and into her car seat.

Once Mr Cullen, I mean Edward had made sure he had strapped Nessie in securely ,he closed the door and made his way over to me closing the space that was distancing us both from each other.

"Bella its getting really quite dark now,I mean please explain to your father that your absence is completly my fault,please have him phone me on this number if he needs an explaination,as to where you where"he whispered as he place a business card into my hand.

"Thanks Edward ,but I think it will be fine,Im sure he's down in La Push if he hasn't rang me by I will make sure that if he needs to speak you that he gets this number"I stepped in closer inhaling his scent,one last time before I had to make my way back to my truck.

"Goodnight Mr Cullen" I whispered.

But before I had put an near three feet between us I felt Edward's hand on my arm whipping me back around to face grabbed my body pulling us closer .My heart was beating out of my chest,my hands were sweaty,my whole body was shaking.

_What was happening ,what did he think he was doing,He's married ,He's my his student! _

I closed my eyes,feeling his warm breathe across my face it was ragged and uneven,I pulled my hands from my sides and worked them up his arms until my hands were clinging aroung his neck,nestling into the tuffs of hair at the back of his just stood our bodies moudling together our breathing uneven and our hands nestled in each others hair.

I felt Edward lips moving closer to his lips crash finally into lips were everything I had dreamt of and though were soft and supple, they still seem to out do any of my fanasties .

Our lips moved to together in sync,but i wanted more I pulled him in even closer deeping our kiss.

I felt Edward bit my bottom lip,begging for access to explore my mouth,which I granted.I heard him moan when he moved his tongue against mine.

Edward bit my bottom lip,which seemed to make a moan escape from my lips calling out his name ,he seem to like that as he pushed my body up against the back of the car,whilst moving his hands down my body exploring hips.

But my head wanted me to stop this madness ,it was agruing with my body to think of the responabilities of my before I had a chance to stop this thing happening we were interupted by a crying noise,Nessie.

Edward seem to back away from me,us both panting,flushed and breathless.

"Bella im sorry...I...dont....know what ..happened.....I have to go.......and you need to leave go home before anyone sees you!"he stuttered.I have never heard this man stutter before in his life.

With that he ran off to the driver's door got in and sped away,leaving my breathless, confuzed and upset.

Where does this leave me ! he's married with a daughter and im his 17 year old student this is wrong,lusting quietly was fine with me,just thinking I could never have him was fine,but this is so wrong and why did he do that I didnt lead him on I didn't,did I?

I unlocked my truck and got in closing the door behind me ,before I could even start the truck ,I was sobbing uncontrolably.

What have I done!

_**now review lol**_

_**please can i have five more reviews:D see what kind of chapters you get when you review ,I spent ages writing this.**_

_**I know i said i wanted to take it slow but my typing just took me to there ...so sorry.**_

_**but I know whats happening in the next chapters expect confession,breakdowns and crying,buts its a good one i promise!**_

_**now review please just five reviews**_

_**xxxxxx**_

_**btw u all who have been reviewing alerting and everything u are the life support of this story so thank u sooo muchxxxx**_


	5. Chapter 4

_**disclamer -do i own twilight ...i wish .......i dont mrs meyer does**_

_**A/N all these reviews are amazing im glad u all are liking this story so far,as you can see i have been updating everyday ,see i do not lie nice reviews get nice chapters.**_

_**this isnt exciting but i hope u like it **_

_**xxxx**_

_**Chapter Four -confrontations,excuses and explainations**_

I pushed my head into my pillow ,trying to drown out the crying that had errupted from my chest at the park.I had been home for about an hour now and these tears were still gushing out.

Charlie had gone down to La Push,he left me a note on the fridge hoping that I would see it when I arrived back from school. I knew it was about 10pm by now ,so I was hoping that Charlie didn't check on me when he came back from the Black's,he didn't need to see me like this,I was suppose to be the strong one of the family.I sighed.

_I can not believe that happened what does mean??,Im going to see Mr Cullen tomorrow ,Im going to see him am I not going to breakdown when see his beautiful face,I don't even understand this feeling,I think im in shell shock of what probably won't be able to look at me any more ,he'll be disgusted with me._

These thoughts only seemed to release another round of sobs from my chest it was unstopable,this sobbing I dont understand ,it was like ten years of tears where finally leaving my heart.

Pulling my blanket up over my head and buring my head into the matress,I fell into a deep sleep, almost death like.

****************************

I woke up from my death slumber to the sound of my alarm ringing beside me. In a zombie like fashion I dragged myself from my room into the bathroom .I made my way straight to the mirror to check out the damage of crying all night had done.

_I had heard Charlie come in last night,but thankfully he didn't check on me and just made his way straight to his room,he must of been tired because within five minutes I heard his snoring drifting through-out the house._

When reaching the mirror I was shocked by my appearance ,even though I had slept it looked like awake all night crying ,my eyes were all puffy ,and around my nose was red and hair look even worse, it had stuck to the back of my neck and to the sides of my face.I looked like death; like a solider in shell shock

.I know I wasnt that attractve to look at but this only seemed to make me look even worse.

Turning away from the mirror I decided I would not look in one until I have tryed to fix myself back up again.

I stepped into the shower letting the smell of my strawberry shampoo and my coconut body wash drift me away from my worries.

After returning from the bathroom,I made my way to my closet deciding to wear a pair of dark demin jeans,white tank top and a royal blue cardigan to match blue converse.

To be honest I was trying to make an effort, like I hadn't been effected by with that I put on make up just to cover the dark rings that were now forming under my eyes,and the redness around my that I grabbed my bag and headed down the stairs and out the door to see alice already waiting in the driveway.

I walked to her BMW and got into the passengers seat ,closing the door behind me .

"Woahhh Bella!!!!! what happened to you ??!!!! you look like you have seen a ghost or something"she yelled at me.

"Alice calm down ,im fine I just didn't get much sleep"I huffed,as she sped towards school.

"I so don't believe you Bella,somethings happened to you ,and if your not going to tell me I will make it my goal to find out!"

We had reached school by now,Alice always broke so many speed laws when in her car,even if it was only a trip to school.

"Whatever miss pixie hell you will never find out what happen any way!"I yelled at her while making my way towards the school's entrance.

"Haha so something did happen then,I was just fishing then I didn't think something had actually had! "she chuckled wrapping her little arm around mine.

"Just lets get to spanish ok ,we don't want Miss Rogers getting angry now do we,remember the last time she shouted at you in spanish"I chuckled remembering the thought of Alice shouting back but in french .It made Miss Rogers so angry she detested the french.

I felt Alice's arm pulling me back as I dragged her towards the language building.

"Bella wait what are you talking about??,we don't have spanish first ,I have bio and you have English lit with that Mc dreamy,Mc steamy read me a bit of old fashioned lit teacher of are soo lucky you have him,I bet you just love to drool over that man all day just thinking of the things you would have him to do to you in the library!"she squealed.

"Alice please he's my TEACHER and he's MARRIED,and thinking of him like that is just WRONG!!!"I told her before storming off ,up the english corrider to meet my fate or doom or whatever were going to call it.

Standing outside my English clasroom I saw that there was no one else yet in the classroom except him!.It was strange though, I thought all the drooling girls would be piling in hours early just to impress.

I knew I had to go into the classroom,because I was already standing outside and the longer I stood here with my nose pressed up against the glass,the more special attention people would give me.

So with that I opened the door and quickly made my way to my seat ,looking at the floor the entire time.I know he had heard me enter but not once did he take his eyes off the board.

_It was like he was trying to balance the equation to solve cancer for the much attention that board was getting for crying out loud. _

That's when I realized ,he mustn't be able to stand the sight of me right now,he couldn't even bear to look at me,or even give a mumbled good morning nothing .

_This is the way it was going to be because of my stupid mistake.I should of pushed him away,I knew he hadn't been himself recently,he was looking for comfort and he was hurt,I should of stopped it. I should made him see reason._

I bowed my head lower into my book ,until I felt my head hit the table,yeah it hurt but I didn't even care at this moment and time,because he was treating me like I was invisible ,almost that I wasn't worth beening seen. I hated him for making me feel like this -worthless and a silly little girl.

But then I started to see sense, I replayed last nights events in my head,as much as my heart didnt want me to.

I hadn't kiss him.I had simply said goodnight and was about to was the one to pull me was the one to touch me .He was the one would had kissed me wasn't me at all it was HIM,I wasn't married with a daughter and kissed a student it was all him.

So with that ,I pushed my self up from my desk and marched towards his desk,he spinned around to face me ,but before I let him utter a word and make me feel guiltly ,I was going to tell him exactly what I thought of the situation that he had put me in.

"Mr Cullen,I want to tell you that it is unfair for you to block me out and pretend that i'm not sitting right over there when I am. I will not have you punish me and make me feel worthless and horrible for your mistake. I did not push myself apon you ,you kissed me ,this is your problem not mine and im not blaming myself any more for what you did!!"I yelled at him.

I looked up at his face,it was mixed with anger ,fear and most of all it looked like he was torn .He stood just looking at me dumbfounded and speechless.

With that the bell rang starting off the lesson.I took my seat as I watched as the mob entered the classroom.

Once everyone was settled He called the class to attention,but his gaze went straight to me.I looked away,staring out the window knowing that if I spent any time looking into his eyes.I would dream that he would be able to kiss me like that again .

I know it's wrong ,I knew it's forbidden ,but it just feels so right.

"Class ,I will let you get a head start on the essay I have written on the board for this essay I will need you to have read the first ten chapters to be able to understand this the question is,

"How did Jane's isolation and loneliness as a child effect her life at Lowood and her interaction with other characters?,I have written the question on the board and I expect the essay to be a least three pages long ,you may begin.

I decided to concentrate on my work knowing fully well that I would be able to answer this question before the end of class I had already taken some notes at home hoping that he would ask this.

I stared across the classroom to see everyone with there heads buired into there books,_huh I guess am the only one who did the homework then_.I brought my attention to angela weber who looked like she was freaking out,I knew that literature wasn't her strong point.

so I decided to help her out,

"Angela do you want some help, I have already written down some of the key points if you want to see them?"I whispered.

"I'm ok bella ,its just im having a hard time trying to decide what events in her childhood shows her most alone?"she whispered back.

"I think your best bet would be to start with the event that happened in the red room,its shows the feeling of isolation and how alone she was"

She sighed "thanks bella I think I kind of get it now ,your my life saver...wlll homework saver anyway"she chuckled.

"Anytime "I laughed back.

Most of the class flew by,I had finshed my paper and I still had 15 minutes to spare so I looked over my essay again,making sure there where no mistakes,there wasn't.

But I was making sure my attention never drew to him for more than a few seconds.I felt his eyes burning holes in my back of the most of the time.

The pain of not being able to know what he was thining or what he was feeling was killing me.I decided to look up towards the front to see if I could read his emotion across his face,but I couldnt,it was like a canvas filled with pain and despair,it didnt help me one bit.

I looked up once more to try again ,but his time I was met my his eyes they held me ,they captured me I couldn't look down.I saw despair ,anguish and remorse filled the depths of his eyes.

I watched him stand ,walk to the front of the class,

"Class ,I have finshed grading your papers from last week,they were all fairly well done,but a few of you need to work of your explainations of your answers and please remember always relate back to the question"he spoke.

I dropped my head knowing that, he would soon be nearing me to hand me back my paper.I Heard footsteps come up behind me and stop beside my desk.

"Bella,very nice work,but I have left you a few pointers along with your grade if you wish to improve it "he whispered.

_The tension between has was unreal it was electric,I could feel the heat and want roaming around my body,I needed him,I wanted him,I know its wrong to,my head does but my body thinks different I supose.I reeled myself back in knowing it would never happen he's married!._

"Thank you Mr cullen,I will take your opinion into hand"I answered back,inhaling his scent one more time before he made his way back to his desk.

Flipping to the end of my essay I found the Grade A circled with red pen,but below the grade I read the note,

_Dearest Bella,_

_please let me explain I can not now because I have no time to tell you fully what happened and why it happened_

_it was my fault and im sorry I have been ignoring you ,but do not feel you are worthless as you are far from it._

_Please met me tonight at the park,I will be there with Nessie again,I will wait by the oak tree until after dark_

_But I will understand if you do not appear._

_Mr Cullen__.........Edward._

I sat there open jawed and speechless.I can not believe he actually sent me a note like children in a classroom!.I mean would it not be wierd me in the park with my teacher I supose it is outside Forks and im there everyday anyway . I could make it look like we just bumped into each other.I wanted to know his reasons,he needed his chance to say what he thinks I got mine...well kinda of.

My thoughts seem to be brought to an end by the bell .I grabbed my things making sure his little note was well hiddened,as I left my Jane Eyre essay with him and hurried out of the classroom.

EPOV

The bell rang singing the end of this end of the class that was complete and utter torture.I dont even know why I left her that note shes probably even more freaked out now .Meet me in the park after dark"!.

_Great just great Edward because that doesnt make you sound creepy one little bit now does it!._

I saw the perfect little Bella rush towards my desk,I prepared myself for abuse that she would give me,for even considering what I had suggested.

But she didn't she just left the Jane Eyre essay which she had already finshed,and hurried her way out of the classroom.

_Wow this girl really was something ,why did I have to fuck her up by bringing her into and making her a part of my oh so shitty situation I would like to call my marriage._

Once the entire class had filed out ,I decided to mark her paper ,and there it was

_Dear __Edward__ .....Mr Cullen,_

_yes I will meet you,_

_you deserve to tell your side of the story_

_bella._

_**A/n so what do you think a good filler chapter i hope so :D**_

_**now can i please have five more reviews come on they are the driving force**_

_**thank u again for reading reviewing alerting favoriting everything u all are amazing**_

_**up next the explaination!],quicker u review the quicker u will get a chapter**_

_**xxxxxx**_


	6. Chapter 5

_**A/N disclaimer dont own twilight:D**_

_**guys heres what u all have been waiting for his explaination woooo! sorry its a day late **_

_**any way please read and review as always ,and PS im really sorry about my grammer or spelling errors i really do try hard with it ....kk i read this one over twice now so please if i have messed up with errors i am terribly sorry**_

_**xxxxxxx**_

_**chapter five --a few hometruths and a tree**_

I can not believe I actually agreed to meeting my teacher outside of school I must be mad!.

Oh well ,I happening now I can't just not turn I get it over and done with ,maybe we could just get back to normal ,well as normal as possible.

Although the problem is the that I have been lusting after him ever since he got here,and him kissing him just made it worst.

Actually the worst part is that in years to come when im doing god's know what with my life and I think back to my first kiss and I'll remember it not as with my boyfriend or someone my own age,but with my english teacher, _great thats such a party story ._

Though I really hated not beinging able to tell Alice today what was going on ,she thought I had been mad at her .I wasn't I was just too wrapped up in my own little thoughts about what was going to happen.

I mean after tonight I will have to tell someone.I hope she can keep a secret and that she understands.I know theres nothing really to tell it's not like he feels the same way was just a stupid I need to get the burden of this off my chest to someone and unfortunately for Alice Im chosing her.

I finally reached the park. I came here early I decided to carry on with my normal routine so I would hopefully find this all less strange.

Parking near the wooded area.I got out blanket and Wuthering Heights in hand and made my way to my tree,my spot,my haven.

Carrying on as normal,I laid the blanket down at its roots and collasped into the tree's settled I decided it would be a good idea to listening to some music ._clam my nerves..hopefully_.Shoving my earphones into my ears,I grabbed my Wuthering Heights and settle into where I had left off in the book.

Not before long I realized that I had thrown myself too much into the twisted lovestory that was cathy and heathcliff ,As the sky was now darkening.

I was starting to feel the nerves bundle up inside of me.I knew he was arriving soon to meet me just a few feet away from here.I felt my legs starting to shake ,I couldnt keep heart was bounding out of its chest. I could feel the sweat starting to form in the palms of my hand and on the back of my neck.

I pushed myself up,deciding I couldn't sit still for any with that I rolled my by blanket and collected my ipod and novel shoving them into my bag.I swung my bag over my shoulder and proceeded to walk down nearer the childrems playground.

As I got closer ,I realized her was already there and he had Nessie with him,Great at least people won't think there's something going on between us.

Unless the ladies gossip club seems to stroll through here see us together,and then the next thing you know I have a secret love child to my high school thats what happens to women here in Forks they seem to have extra imagination,I guess it because real life here is utterly boring.

Once I reached the gate of the playground I realized no other parent or child was here.I guess he timed it well,most families would be home eating dinner right now in Forks ,yes thats right we even have a set dinner time that every person seems to unknowingly follow.

When I entered the playground I looked up to see that Mr cullen was even more beautiful at night the way the darkness greeted his pale skin it was like it welcomed another star to shine throughout the darkness.

Then I heard the most beautiful giggle that ever had grace me ;it was was beaming and giggling whilst edward pushed her back and forth on the this child was so dazzling,just like her dad.

I saw that edward was now looking up at me beaming me the exact same smile that Ness was carrying on her chubby little cheeks.

"Bella" he I walked towards him closing the distance between us.

"Hello back" I laughed.

I stared at his face seeing that he had turned quite serious ._huh I guess he just wanted to get the explaination over with._

"I am so glad you came,I was worried that you might change your mind,but I do want to say that it was at my own fault that ,that even happened last night I don't know what came over me,I have been so over the place lately with my marriage and ness ....it just....I mean ......you probably dont care about any thing that is happening with I beg of you please do not turn me into the police ,I need my job I love my job its the one thing I have that I love and that means something to me besides my daugher" he rambled.

His eyes had not left mine,as he continued to push Nessie on the swings,the little thing was obivlion to what was going on with her fathers emotional outbreak

"Edward please do not think that I would turn you into the police,I have noticed that you havent been yourself over the past couple of days,I could see that you were in pain,and i felt helpless that I couldnt do anything to help you .I know your my teacher and that but I do care about whats happening and I will listen to what ever you have to say"I said.

I turned my attention to nessie now .As Edward had stopped pushing her in the middle of my little speech,actually he was just standing there saying nothing.I crouched down to bring myself to her level and began to push her back and forth.

"Hi,little Nessie,aren't you cute in that little dress huh"I cooed.

She giggled as she put her little hand over mine and squeezed it tightly.

I continued to talk to her ,

"Nessie do you think your daddy looks a bit stupid ,cause I think he does,hes not even talking"I giggled.

All of a sudden she responed,_I didn't even know she could talk!._

"UP UP!" she shouted at waved her little arms in the air waiting to be lifted."UP"

I lifted her out of the swing and carried her above my head bouncing her up and down in the air,it was a little trick I learnt where you just move your arms up and down the baby's sides to make the baby bounce.

She was giggling now,I brought her down and held her little body in my arms.

I turned around to see Edward looking lovingly at Ness and started to walk towards us as me playing crazy bouncing games had brought me half way across the park.I noticed a bench at the edge of the park so I decided to sit down as I was feeling a little bit dizzy.

Edward had joined me a few minutes later he continued to say nothing he just watch me.I think he was debating in his head to tell me what was wrong with him or not with me being his student and the thing was I didn't feel like his student right now I felt like we were normal people that there were no titles constricting us from being open and real with each other.

By now Nessie was tired out and she had snuggled herself back into the knook of my arm,It was like that little space was made for her.

Finally he spoke,he didnt look at me he only looked down at the little angel placed in his arms.

"This is the reason why I kissed you .The way you are with her,Its like you love her already.I could just tell you care for 's like my own little world and the tenderness I saw in your eyes when you are with her overwelmed me so 's like you could be her mother I know you have been with her for only two days,but you have shown her more love than her own mother has ever given her"

I sat there shocked as I rocked Nessie back and this the reason why he's not happy the reason why he corrected himself when he said happily married,because his wife didn't care for her own daughter,how could that be?.How could anyone not love this little angel she was perfect in every way.

"What do you mean....I dont....I dont understand how could someone not love HER!,her own mother its not right what has this little girl ever have done to your wife" I shouted.

"She was born " he whispered back,

"My wife jane never wanted children,but I did ,and when she fell pregnant, she was going to abort the child and never tell me ,but when I had found the test in the trash ,I confronted her about it.I told her that our marriage was over if she aborted our own said she didnt want to lose me but in reality I knew she didnt want to lose the trust fund my family had gave when Nessie was born she said she didnt want nothing to do with her,and that I should take care of her and that I was lucky she hadnt of just aborted I never see Jane she is always away on business and then when she comes back all we do it argue about Nessie,she says that I don't care about her and that im only interested in Ness"

I sat there saying nothing I can not believe what he had just told me .It was like all his feelings he had bottled up he just let out .It was nice to understand his emotions right now.I knew that he had kissed me because he was just all over the place emotionally,and that I cared for Ness-_I did care for her I seemed to have an automatic liking to children._

"Edward im soo sorry...I..... just don't know what to say except that you are a wonderful father and if your wife doesnt care about her well thats her loss,because this little girl is like a little shining light and I would count myself lucky if I were ever bless with a daughter like her"I replied.

"Bella I really dont know what to say or do any more whats right whats 's like a my thoughts and decisions are misty and clouded ,I just dont know what to think"he sighed.

I looked down to see that Nessie was fast asleep by now her little mouth hanging open ,gasping for air.

"Well I can't help you on this one Mr cullen...I mean Edward .sorry,But what I can help you on is getting this little one to the car and to bed"

I saw that Edward was already standing,so I lifted my body off the bench collected my bag whilst making sure that I didnt wake her.

We walked closer this time there was no one about I made sure of it,This was like my own sick little family ,well in my fanasty worldanyway._what I cant have this in real life so im gonna daydream that I do!._

We didn't talk to each other we just walked side by side,every now and then we looked around to make sure no one had popped out of no Edward would stroke my hair back from my face,and everytime he did my skin felt like it was being brought to life as if it was never truely alive until he touched was like an electric current flowing through my body it was exciting ,it brought butterflies to my smotach just knowing that even that small touch was forbidden in some ways.

Then there it was my body was now set alight ,truely alive and beaming ,I felt the heat rushing to my face,and the grin spearding across my face.I was blushing and I did care. I could feel his arm around my waist pulling me in close,it was the most amazing feeling it sent shivers down my back .

This was perfect Ness sleeping in my arms and edward close to me.I could smell the intoxicating scent reeling off his body,I buried my face in his arm filling myself up on his glorious odour.

I knew this would end in seconds I saw his car ahead of us.I sighed knowing that my craddling arms would be left empty and his scent and this warmness that surrounded my body would fade quickly . I would be left alone,without him ,without her.

Seening as Edward had now stopped in front of that's when I realized ,this was going to end so much sooner than I wanted it too.

"Bella,I know its late and Nessie is sleeping ,but I also know that you have probably missed dinner twice now because of I was wondering would you like to join me for something to eat I live a bit further out from here and no one will realized who either of us are. Though I was hoping that you would let me to take you to dinner as I never really thank you for finding Ness"

"umm sure I guess that would be ok,as a thank you I mean ,but if you wouldn't mind finding somewhere we can eat where we aren't going to run into anyone,this would be awkward to explain" I muttered back.

He reached over taking Nessie out of my arms and placing her in the back of his car.I walked over to join them wrapping my blanket yet again around her little body.

"You know you really should invest in a blanket for your car if you're are going to forget one everytime you leave the house with her"I chuckled.

"It probably would be the sensible thing to do,but I knew you would be here with one so who needs one when I have you "he joked, as he opened the passengers door for me.

I slide in hoping that my truck would be here when I returned.I text Charlie telling him that I had left soup in a pot for him and that I would be back soon as I was at alices as she was having "girl problems".I knew that that text would keep him from phoning Alice's house to check on me.

Edward had now joined me in the car,I just kept watching him when he was driving and it was taking all my effort not to kiss him or hold his hand .I breathed deeply knowing that any move that was going to be made had to be done by him,the ball was in his court.

_Though I don't even know whats happening now with us...wait A minute did I just say us?...I think I have been spending to much time in my fanasty world ._

I looked around and realized that we had stopped oputside a little diner off the highway .strange I didnt even see the time pass,and It probably wasnt a good sign that I was silent for the whole time.I han't even seen that Nessie was awake ,because her and edward were now standing infront of my now open door.

"Bella,do you want to eat or would you like me and ness give you some space so you can continue to dream off into space"

Isaw that the smile and expression on his face was much lighter now happier.

I hopped out of the car and made my way to the diners entrance;I was holding Nessie now,as soon as I was out of the car her little arms clung the air reaching out to me.

Edward stopped me outside the diner before I even had a chance to even get near the door,

"I say we play a little game called happy family dont you Ness?"he chuckled staring at a giggling Nessie.

"Wait what ?" I looked at him blankely- confuzed.

"Well bella your husband is hungry and so is your daughter so lets get a move on shall we"he laughed whilst grabbing my waist pulling me and Ness along with him into the diner.

_Huh this was going to be fun....right?....I guess we shall see._

_**now review come on five more please ...I know I have been getting lots of reviews and this is amazing so i thank you**_

_**again this chapter so didnt end the way i wanted it too...but I have half of the next chapter written....do u think edward will change once janes' back.....umm?**_

_**i hope you all dont hate me for making jane his wife i didnt want tanya she always is and then i was going to make up my own character but then i decide against it because i thought it should be someone from the saga...so do u think i made a bad move on that part?**_

_**also i hope u got that edward was overwelmed by bella with ness and it lead him to kiss her...its like all this has open him up to her beauty .....hopefully it came across like that...anyway**_

_**review and u shall see btw that was a teaser if u caught on lol**_

_**xxxxxxxxlove u all xxxxxxx**_


	7. Chapter 6

_**A/N disclaimer i do not own twilight i repeat i do not own twilight ,but i do own this little verison of edward i have created**_

_**also i re read my chapters it is just me or does fanfic leave words out just to annoy ...because its happening to me and its making me second guess myself about what actually have written but when i go back i see that i was right fanfic is leaving words out?why!!!!!**_

_**as always sorry for the spelling and grammer lol**_

_**btw i will now leave my gushing at the bottom of the fanfic cause i know u really just want to start the chapterxx**_

_**Chapter six-fun and games leads to home truths**_

I looked around the diner a little surprised that Edward had actually chose this place to eat.I guess he didnt actually eat here on a regular basis,he only used it to have dinner with his students...... _yeah much better._

It was a 50's themed diner it wasn't that bad really the waitresses were on roller skater though,I shuttered at the fact of me ever using those death traps or being made to use them!.

We had asked for a booth at the corner knook of the diner...... well Edward more than me .Once being place in the car shaped booth we were greeted by a teenage girl with high pigtails in her hair and roller boots on her feet

.Even when she came rolling along to us on those skates I still had to admire her ,as she was still able to drool over Edward and carry our drinks perfectly...... no spillage.

Although there were more important things to take notice to right now ,like the little game Edward and I were playing "happy families" as he oh so smugily put it.

Which for the past five minutes had involed Edward and me walking in hand and hand with Nessie on my playing with my hair,brushing my hair off my neck and kissing it.

Which I didn't object to,but this game was more like touch up bella which sounds really wrong I know but ,It was so wrong it was everytime he talked to Nessie he always slipped in the word mommy when looking at me.

I slipped put of my thoughts to see that the waitress was back ready and waiting to take our orders

"Bella honey,I think it would be rude to keep this lovely young girl waiting any longer dont you??"Edward said.

"Yes sweetie, I think it would,so I think we will have two burgers with fries and also could you please bring a bowl of mashed potatoes and a small bowl of fruit for this little munchkin"I said trying to sound as sarcastic as possible.

I could see that the girl was obiviouisly annoyed that she knew that Edward was off limits, but in reality he is off limits to me too,this is all just pretend so she really should count herself lucky she isn't in this confuzing mess.

I turned my attention to Nessie to see that she was content in her own little world beside me,as soon as she had been given a colouring book and crayons we lost her.

"She's fine Bella stop worrying about her,worry about what's happening right now for a change it seems everytime I touch you,you're either in a dream world or trying to avoid whats going on can't you just enjoy what's happening now,we dont have much time to be together like this"he said.

"Wait what are you saying Edward!!!, that you want this?.... you want me?.....we can't.... your married with a child your my teacher,its wrong"I realized I was whispering now.

"Bella the first time I saw you stumble into my class room ....you were so humble, so pure and yet oh so when I met my gaze in those big hazel brown eyes I was lost.I tried not to be I to convice myself that I was only phyiscally attracted to you,but then when I met you in the park .I knew that you were just as beautiful on the now just makes my want you even more,even when I kissed you .I wanted more... I want all of you Bella ....and I will make sure nothing gets in my way!"

I couldn't speak truth be told I had no idea what to say do I tell him how I feel about ,him or do I push him away and do the right it seemed my body had different ideas,because before my head had time to react I was already kssing him.

I didn't care that we were in a public place or even that his daughter was sitting beside me,I just couldn't deny myself him any longer.I knew that the pain and regret of this would probably kill me,but I didn't care it was worth it,every second was worth it.

HIs lips reacted with mine immediately,his lips parted as I felt his warm breath fan across my face .I bit his lip as I felt his hands sending electric shocks through me as they trailed the whole way up my body.

I moaned,pulling my hands into his hair as I crashed him closer to me.

His hands seemed to stop at my cardigan ,pushing the material away from my shoulder leaving my skin he moved his lips down my neck,I could feel the heat and warm gushing through-out my body as he kissed my collarbone.

My breathing was starting to become even more erractic as he o bit and sucked my neck all the way down my exposed skin.

_God I want him,.I wanted all of him,I needed kiss ,his touch was the first I have ever felt and the only one I ever want to feel._

"Edward we need to stop ,I want this too ,but we can't.... just not now"I panted as I felt him kiss my neck.

I heard him groan "Bella please don't push me away,not now not after all of this"he pleaded as he buired his head into my chest.

"Im not pushing you away ,but its just were in a public place and I would rather have just a little bit of dignity in whatever the game is were playing" I whispered.

"I don't think were playing anymore bella"he said, as he pushed himself back up to sit in a decent position.

Before I could say anything my phoned buzzed ,it was my dad ,shit I really hope he hadnt of checked Alice's,I answered deciding to face the music now instead of later.

"umm hi dad ,what's wrong did something happen"I stuttered.

"Bell's I have to go into port angles for tonight there's been some big investagation happening and there short staff so I offered to help I hope you dont mind "he answered.

"Oh no dad thats fine,just ring me when your coming home and i'll have a good homecooked meal ready and waiting"I chuckled.

"Ok bell's ,look I have to go stuart's calling me ,but if you want to stay in alice's. I was at the house and left your overnight bag out for you ,right I have to go stuart's getting annoyed,I love you bell's be safe,bye"

before I could utter so much as a good bye he was gone, the phone line dead.I was sad that he was gone yet again but also thankful that he hadn't phoned it looks like I will have to tell her now ,incase something comes up and she has no idea what's going on....great.

"Is your dad ok??,is something wrong? is he angry with you for being out so long?"he ask concerned.

"Nothing like that its just he been called out of town so it looks like its yet another lonely night at the swan residence"I sighed.

"So your all alone is that safe I mean will you be ok?"

"Yeah I guess so..... it isn't the first time you know of me beening left to look after not like im some lost puppy Iv have taken care of myself for quite some time now"I said defensely.

"Well in that case I won't ask you if you would like to stay at mine house ,I mean we have a lovely guest room ,which you could sleep in and I know Nessie would love that"

I looked over to see that nessie had covered herself in mashed potato, it was all over her face and in running through her little ringlets .She was giggling and bouncing up and down on her seat,banging her little fists,which also were covered in mash potatoes.

"Dirty child is a happy child I always say " I laughed as I started to comb out the mashed potatoes in her hair.

"I agree with that,but you have to admit even with mashed potatoes in her hair she is still the cutest button, don't you agree?and you wouldn't want to her her little feelings by not reading her a bed time story"Edward whisperd into my ear.

I saw Nessie grinning at me ,she was melting my heart...it wasn't fair I guess it would be better than staying at mine alone.

"Fine but only because i'm a sucker for that little grin" I cooed at Nessie.

"Great lets go then,I have ice cream at my house,besides we need to get going don't want no one stealing that alluring truck you own"he said,smugily

I stood up" Hey dont mock my truck,its my pride and joy so back off" I said to him whilst poking him in the chest.

"Stop with the abuse already,i'll leave you truck alone as long as you keep your fingers to yourself "

"Fine let's go then"I huffed as I lifted nessie from her chair and marched outside. Leaving Edward to pay the bill.

Once I had strapped Ness into her chair,she fell fast looked adorable as she lay in her with potatoes in her hair.

I noticed Edward had joined me ,I could feel his presence behind,I spun around to be greeted by moved his body closer pulling me into his though our bodies were only touching I could feel the want radiating around was killing me and making me incredibly wet.

"Bella get in the car" his voice was huskier than usual,it was more alluring like sticky sweet toffee.

All I could do was nod the only sense that seem to be working right now was lust .With a deep breath I pushed him away from me as I slid my body into the car shutting the door behind me.

_tease._

He seemed to be in a rush because ,he didn't talk at all to me ,All he would do was hold my hand and rub soothing circles on the palm of my hand.

But everytime I caught his eyes I could see how they were blacken with desire ,a desire I knew he was trying to fight,but I was over coming him,he was losing the fight to not touch me as I was for him,It was sickening how much I was addicted to his touch.

I saw that we had reached the park now .I knew I would have to leave him and collect my truck.

"Bella where here,now listen to me this is what I want you to back to your house and get your things then,drive to this address.I would love to be able to take you myself,but I want to get this little one to you return"he sighed.

I took the bit of paper out of his hands and shoved it into my back pocket,

"I will be back soon just give me about a half an hour before I come over"

"Thats completely fine Bella.I would wait all night if I had to"he leaned in kissing my forhead,I took on last inhale of his scent before I opened the door of his volvo pushing myself out.

Slamming the door behing me I made my way over to my truck.I watched him take on last glance at me before speeding away down the park.I sighed hoping that I had inhaled enough of him to last me until I could be in his arms.

I felt my engine roar to life as I pulled out of the parking space down the road.I pushed my luck by raising my speed to 55,luckily my truck was able to take it.

20 minutes later I finally reached my drive way.I turned off my engine and rushed into the house.I ran up the stairs,pushing my bedroom door wide open.

I grabbed my bag to see that Charlie had already packed my toiletries.I search through my drawers until I had found my little vest set,which included a tank top and a pair of shorts.

I usually would wear sweats to bed,but not this the set into my bag,I grabbed a pair of jeans and tshirt and headed down stairs.

I didn't even take time to think about anything all I knew was that if I did I would manage to be my sensible boring self and stop this.I needed some excitment and Edward did that he made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside .It was a rush knowing that we could get caught at any moment and I loved it.

So with that I locked the front door and ran to my truck pulling the address oot of my pocket.

_27 hale avenue,please dont be late,edward xx._

I took off down the road ,I knew that hale avenue was the older part of town were not many people lived ,it was mostly filled with retired couples.I also know that these weren't just houses they were more like mansions and estates.I wonder what Edward was doing he did say he had a trust fund,maybe he's rich or his parents are.

It had been a 15 minutes journey I can't believe that Edward had lived so close . I had never seen his car near my house before.

I sped up the pathway to be greeted by minuture it was still a huge difference compared to my house was beautiful victorian I think.

It looked like a scale verison of one of them antique doll houses

.It was wooden panelled on the outside Each window had a set of blue shutters and a flower box overflowing with different shades and colours.

The house had a porchway encircling the entire house.

It was perfect.

Stopping the truck,I made my out of my seat bag in hand and walked until I met the front I even had time to knock I saw that Edward was already standing there waiting ,for looked thrilled,I could tell my the huge smile acroos his face he was glad to see him.

He ran towards me sweeping me off my feet carrying me into the house.I giggled.

"Edward put me down"I squealed.

"Nope,I will not Miss Swan not until I escort you upstairs" he voice full of implacations.

"Well Mr Cullen then lets not keep me waiting"I laughed ,as he carried me up.

_**ok im sorry i had to stop there...im soo tired its now four in the morning here...well expect the next chapter tomorrow hope you enjoyed that one lol**_

_**as i always say there will be twists but will it be in the next can i have five more reviews and you will find out.**_

_**as always my chapter never goes how i want it to but oh well hope u liked it any way**_

_**btw all these reviews you ppl wow me,its amazing and i thank u again and again from the bottom of my heartxxxxxx**_


	8. Chapter 7

_**disclaimer dont own twilght :D**_

_**anyho its a day late but me actually having a life over the past couple of days got in the way .....sorry so I gave you all a lemon to make up for it ,and im deciding to throw in a few things just for fun so don't hate me lol....now on with the chapter:Dxx**_

_**btw first time ever writing a lemon so go easy on me lol**_

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_**Chapter seven - lemons,with a twist**_

I tried to ingulf as much as my surroundings as possible it seemed things had changed in the time Edward had left me home,until the time I had showed up at his door, not that I was complaining in any manor what so ever. I mean I knew this was a fast move to pull but if anyone like Edward decided that they wanted me then who was I to object right?.

Edward carried me up two flights of stairs which had the occupates of several rooms ,but as we passed each one,it left me wondering what room I was actually staying the first flight I could hear Nessie's snors desending from her room,I smiled as I imagined her all curled up .

Finally we reached the last floor of the house,the whole floor only occupied one looked down at me as we stepped into the room,all I could saw was _wow!._

This room was beautiful perfect the whole room was painted an off white and in the center of the room lay a huge four poster mangohny the funishings around the room seem to in keeping with the that wasnt the point that wowed me it was the fact that the room was only lit by candle light,each surface was covered in deep red candles filling the room with a rasberry scent that was delcious.

Edward had place red rose petals on the floor as a pathway to the bed and also scattered across the bed had draping white fabric falling down from the posters to the floor.I could see the light shining off the covers ,until I realized that the were a creamy silk.I sighed ,he had thought of everything to make this perfect.

He hadn't moved from the doorway ,I think he was trying to reading my expression before acting apon anything.I knew I would have to tell him something before he would even try to touch me.

"Edward take me to bed"I whispered,buring my head in his chest.

We moved forward to the bed as he softly layed me down on the bed .I could smell the scent floating off the petals, it was amazing.

He hovered over me slowly bringing his lips down to lips were soft and tender but I wanted him,I wanted more,I attacked his mouth bringing my hands into his hair ,crashing our lips against each others.

He brushed his tongue against my lower lip and I granted him permission. He reached for my hands pushing them above my head pinning them to the bed whilst he pushed himself closer to me .I moaned,raising my body as his hands worked there way down my arms until my cardigan was gone.

His lips moved down my neck sucking and biting a trail down to my collar bone,I felt his hands work there way down my body exploring my hips until he found the hem of my tank top.I could feel his fingertips grazing my skin, bearing my flesh as he discarded my top.

I moved back further onto the bed leading Edward behind me.I turned to face him pushing him back on the bed ,I straddled him, never leaving his gaze as our eyes burned into each ours .I could see the want in his eyes when I reached around my back and unhooked my bra letting it fall from my chest.

Before I could move Edward grabbed my thighs twisting my body until I was under him. I moaned as he started to leave kisses down my chest, gasping as he took one of my nipples into his hot steamy breath .I could feel his tongue against my hardened nipple,as I buired my hands into his hair.

"Bella you are so beautiful" he mummered into my chest.

"Edward I want you to touch me"I moaned.

I felt his hands move down to my jeans as he kissed along my hip my jeans he pushed them down my legs,along with my underwear, leaving kisses the whole way along inner thigh.

I was bare and unprotected.

I heard him groan as his layed kisses on my skin back up my inner thigh.I felt his breath at my entrance I moaned feeling my wetness pooling from me.

He brought my hips closer to him.

A shutter rippled throughout my body as his tongue cirlced my clit. I began pulling on his hair as he pushed his finger up into my slit rubbing against my clit.I moaned. I felt another finger slid in as edward began to move quicker curling his fingers inside hands fisted the pillows as I arched by back,screaming

"Edward,yes!!!"

he spoke "Bella I need you to lie back down now!!!"

I lay back down as he slipped in another one of his fucking glorious finger into me.I could feel them curling inside me, pumping in and out of my they drove harder into my body I began to buck my hips against his fingers ,feeling the warmth burning within me.

I could feel my body starting to tighten around his fingers as one of his fingers curled up hitting my G spot, he whispered,

"Cum for me Bella" ,

that's it I was gone.I felt a scream errupt from my body as I pooled out around his fingers arching my back and bucking my hips against him one last time.

"GOD EDWARD...YESS!!" I cried out.

As my head touched back down onto the bed,I tryed to control my panting as edward licked up my it was no use I was soo far gone it was useless.

I closed my eyes only feeling Edward's lips trail slowly back up my body,reaching my mouth as we met each other once lips moved against mine, I bit his lip granting his tongue access.

I made my way down to his shirt as I started to undo his I moved his shirt down his arms and off his body I couldn't help but be in awe of his flawess was defined ,but not too muscular ,he was perfection in everyway.

I continued to kiss Edward,as I made my hands down to his pants slowly unbuttoning him.I could feel his erection pressing against my my feet I pushed his pants and boxers down to his ankles as he kicked them off.

Slowly moving my hand back down to his now promient erection I reached for his base as I moved my hand up and down his shaft , he groaned

"BELLA!".

I smiled into the kiss as I quicken my movements pumping my hand around his I slid my hand faster around him .I heard his breath hitch as he moaned and grunted into the nape of my neck,

"Fuck bella ,im going to cum"he shouted.

I removed my hand from his dick as he positioned himself at my entrance.

"Are you sure about this bella?"

"Yes,I only want you no one else,please"I begged.

Mybod tensed as I felt his tip push through my entrance,he gradually was letting himself enter me bit my bit ,Although I felt pain my body graved more.

"Edward please,it's ok,im fine"

I felt him thrust inside of me, my body screamed out in pain as he came crashing through my 's forehead was pressd against mine as he gazed into my eyes thrusting into my body.I could still feel pain rippling through my body ,but as it started to ease out my pain was replaced by a pleasure so intoxicating I wanted more.

"Edward please faster..harder"I moaned as he thrusted into body quicken its pace as he slammed into me.I bucked my hips against him causing him to enter me even he filled me completely.

As he moved into me yet again I felt his hand rubbing at my clit undoing the ball of nerves,tieing me body rocked against mine as he groaned and shouted my name

"Bella,Bella,Bella!!"

My walls were begining to tighten around him,as he drove himself harder into my frame.I moaned

"Edward im cuming" as his fingers roughly rubbed my clit.

"Bella your so tight ...ughhhhh god!!!!" he grunt as he drove into me ,causing my body to move up the bed.I held on to the head board as he slammed into my frame over and over again causing me to scream as he filled my depths.I could feel my fingernails deeping into the wooden frame and I screamed at him to go "faster!"

He thusted into me one last time, I felt all my ties being cut lose as he came within my walls. arching my back I could feel the orgasim ripping throught out me moan out his name.

"EDWARD"

I felt my body against his ,we didn't move we just lay there holding each other,our breathing ragged and uneven,as we came down from our highs.

Edward began to kiss my chest as he made his way back up my body,

"Bella you are the most amazing woman I have ever met,and that was utterly amazing what just happened.I didn't even expect it and yet here you are,I will understand if you want to go after this ,Now its happened you probably think im some older man just looking for some innocent little girl ,but im not Bella ...I think im in love with you " he whispered into my chest.

I couldn't believe it,he was in love with i had of heard this a few weeks back I would of laughed this kind of thing off,But now that it was being said to me ,it was completely different.I knew it had only been two weeks but I couldn't help it I loved him he was someone else's he wasn't mine. life was unfair this way.

I looked up to see him staring at me ,with so much love and want in his eyes,I knew I would just have to tell him that I loved him too,no matter how much I would regret this later.

"Edward I love you too,I know its strange but I have always felt a pull between us two,and now that that has happened I just don't think I can be away from you anymore"I whispered as I hugged my body into his chest.

"You will never have to be without me,I will find a way to always be with you when you need me"he whispered back as he wrapped his arms around my waist moulding our bodies together as he kissed my head.

I closed my eyes as I drifted off to sleep in Edward's arms.

*************

I awoke the next mornig expecting to still be lying on his perfect chest,but I wasnt

.I felt around the bed in hope of finding him but the bed was vacant.I opened my eyes to see that his body was no longer there.I heard some one moving around the room.

Rubbing my eyes.I sat up to see edward.

As I removed myself from the bed wrapping a sheet around my naked body.

I saw Edward run about the room grabbing my clothes into a bundle in his hands.

"Here take these and get ready now!"he shouted and he flung my clothing to me.

"Wait what Edward why what's wrong??"I quizzed him feeling hurt and rejected.I had just given my self to him and what now he was kicking me out ....was this all just a lie so he could fuck a student.

"You ....you need to leave now,get out.........GO!"

I felt the tears rolling down my could I have been so stupid I knew he would of never wanted me,why did I think it was even possible.I felt worthless.

"Bella please don't cry but you really need to get out now !"he yelled.

"NO not until you give me a reason why Edward was I not good enough last night or do you just go around stealing all teenage girl's virtures"I sobbed.

"Bella ....No last night was amazing and I couldn't of wished for anyone else but you,I care about you and I would never treat you that way"

"when why are you treating me like that now "I question

"Bella because Jane's back and she's sitting downstairs,I dont thing she'll take to kindly to see me fucking my student do you?he whispered now.

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_**AHA now review sorry i just typed it that way ummm now how are they gonna get out especially when bella's truck is u think jane would of seen it????]**_

_**thank u thank thank thank u for all the review please can i have another five maybe more i know that beening cheeky but oh well**_

_**and btw OMG allll these story alerts and reviews u ppl are spectacular!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wooo to all of u i wish u all have a teacher u could mess around with lol**_

_**but not this edward he' s mine...but ill share if i get reviews lol**_

_**xxxx**_


	9. Chapter 8tears for fears

_**a/n disclaimer I don't own twilight :D**_

_**anyway heres the next chapter ....im a bit sad that my last chapter didn't even get that many reviews usually im flooding with them...so i hope i get a few more for this...because im only writing bewcause im loyal but as i said i get encouraged by reviews sooo please review and tell me what you think.......are u ready for assward?LOL**_

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_**chapter eight-tears for my fears.**_

_"Bella because Jane's back and she's sitting downstairs,I dont think she'll take to kindly to see me fucking my student do you?he whispered now._

My tears were flowing freely down my face.I can't believe I have gotten myself into this ...why? .I knew I would hit myself did I think that me and Edward could wake up surrounded by bliss of what had just happened last night.

"Bella get your clothes on now!!!...hurry the fuck up!"he shouted at me,whilst shoving all the petals into a trash can.I felt so cheap.

I pullled on my jeans,as I watched him run about the room making the bed and shoving the candles into the evidence I grabbed my bag collecting my underwear shoving them into my duffle bag.

"What do I do now edward!!!!!!.climb down the drain pipe of a three floor house"I sneered.

I so didn't deserve to be treated this way!.The tears were still freely falling down my face I was upset but I couldn't break into pieces letting him know that he had this effect on me ,I wouldn't I had to be strong so to quote my mother "speak your mind hide your feelings".well in front of a man anyway.

"Yeah sure Bella lets have you climb down a drain pipe,because no one would be able to see you climbing down the side of my house,plus your so clumsy that you could seriously hurt yourself!now bbefore jane comes running up here to see what the noise is I want you to hide in the closet until I come and get you is that understood?"he questioned me.

"Edward I .......Im not clumsy !......Ican't believe this is happening all those things you said were lies....do you realize that in doing this you have made me feel so worthless ...it hurts!!....but what ever where im i to hide in your closet like the rest of ur dirt...I hope imn not greeted by any other teenage girls once I enter"I scoffed.

I walked toward the closetr opening the door throwing my bag on the inside.

"Edward go you wouldn't want that darling wife to get worried now would we,But I swear you better come back and get me before I go and introduce my self to the infamous Jane".

Before he could even speak to me I stepped into the closet closing the door behind me,throwing myself on the floor.

Sitting on the floor,I pressed my ear up against the door.I heard him sigh as his footsteps carried him towards the door ,hearing a bang I realized he was gone.

I let the silent sobs rip through my chest,I felt myself breaking into pieces and I just wasn't able to put myself back together this had hurt and confuzed me too much.I just don't understand him its like he is completly two different people.

The Edward I cared for was the sweet Edward who looked at me with so much love who kissed me tenderly on the neck the compassionate then there was this Edward who made his appearance this morning ,this edward was differne the was mean,rude and treated me like utter crap.I hated this Edward ,or as I will now call him assward.

Grabbing my bag I pulled it onto my lap ,searching until I found my the buds into my ears I sighed resting my head on the wall,letting the music flow through me.

_What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head  
You should know better you never listened to a word I said  
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat  
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did._

_......_

_  
Does it kill  
Does it burn  
Is it painful to learn  
That it's me that has all the control  
Does it thrill  
Does it sting  
When you feel what I bring  
And you wish that you had me to hold_

_********_

I awoke to someone shaking me.

"Bella Bella love,you need to wake up you need to go home" the velvet voice whispered_._

I closed my eyes tighter I just wanted to sleep ,make this whole situation go away ,dream it the voice continued to plead with me.I pushed open my eyes to see edward kneeling beside what Edward it was,is a different matter,I think its the Edward I love as he was being sweet to me. _wait what did I just say love thats soo silly I couldn't love him.... I couldn't.... could I?._

shaking my head I got up grabbing my bag,as I pushed past I was waslking towards the door I heard edward call me.

"Bella?"I spun around to greet him,realizing that he was right behind me.I looked at the floor knoweing that if I looked into his eyes I would be losted and I didnt need that right now.I was mad at him and myslef.

he spoke again"Bella?".

I felt his finger tips graze my chin as he lifted my face so my eyes could meet arm wound around my waist pulling me into his body,even though I was hurt and hated him ,I still wanted him.

I closed my eyes feeling his breathe brush across my face I sighed inhaling his wonderful scent as he close the distance between our lips.

Wait no! don't do this to your self again back away and leave,agreeing with my head for once i pushed him away pullin his arm away from me.

"No Edward you can't have your cake and eat it too,I will not let you treat me like that or talk to me like that,I may not be worth much but I deserve more than dont even try and explain all I want to know is she gone "

he nodded .I headed toward the door ,opening it I made my way down the hallway.I heard him shout behind me"your trucks outside the gates" he knew not even to follow me knowing i was right in everything I had said.

As I made my way down the driveway of the house I sniffled back the tears I promised myself I wouldn't cry ,not now.

Once I reached my truck finally,I got in and just let the tears run down my sobbing was becoming uncontrolable I had no one to talk too.I need to tell someone and just have them listen and understand this fucked up situation.

Pulling up the driveway of my own house .I had decided that I would tell Alice everything she would understand ,thats what best friend were there for not to judge and love you no matter what like a marriage..... kinda of.

closing my door Imade my way up into the house lifting the house phone with me.I dailed Alice's number hoping she would be there...well praying actually.

she answered.._yes_!

"Alice can you come over to mine ...actually can you stay I need someone to talk too...I have to tell you something"

"Bell's is everything ok?it isn't Charlie is it?"she asked I could tell she was concerned.

"No of course not ,he's fine he's actually away at the moment "

"Im coming over now Bells and im bringing ice cream and tissues I have the feeling you will need them"

"Thanks Alice,I just dont know what to do anymore my life is soo twisted and screwed up"I mumbled as yet another round of sobs broke away from my chest.

"Bella i'll be there in five everything will be fine I promise you it will be fine,im gonna be here for you whatever happens"she said

"Ok then i'll see you in five thank you alyboo"

"Your welcomes bellaboo"

With that she hung up I made my way upstairs into my room quickly lifting my sweat as I headed towards the bathroom.I ran the shower hoping that it would calm me down.

That was a failed attempt on my part it didn't , slipping into my sweats I tied my hair back and made my way back to my room.

I was thankful to see Alice already sitting on my bed with icecream and two spoons in hand.I rushed over hugging her little frame,I just let the tears flow not letting them hold back about ten minutes Alice finally spoke

"Bella your crushing me and im no good crushed now am I?"she chuckled.

"Sorry.....,but its just all I have done is cry and its killing me ,Alice I have done something really bad,but please you have to understand....I dont know what my excuse is for what I did"I sobbed.

"You can tell me anything bella what happened what did you do?"she asked as she held my hands in hers.

"I ....I slept with.......I slept with Edward"I whispered .

"Wait a minute who's Edward we dont know an Edward...... Bella who are you talking about"she looked confuzingly at me.

"He's ummm.....m.....mr......mr cullen.I slept with him"I stuttered.

I looked at Alice she was in shock her mouth was actually making a little circle like those shocked simely emotions.I hoped she didn.t hate me or think I was a slut for sleeping with him.

But before I knew it the little pixie was holding me in her arms,patting my hair.

"Bella but how did this all start ,I mean I know you and you dont just sleep with someone actually you have never slept with someone before".

I pulled back from alice and sighed as I started to tell her about my attraction to edward and how I would go to the park after school,until one of the days I had found nessie lost and crying and then she turned out to be edwards daughter and that he had kissed me in the park after finding her.

I told her about the note edward sent me telling me to meet him in the park and how he told me about his wife and how selfish she was.I told her about him wanting to thank me so he brought me to dinner and invited me back to the house,as charlie had phoned at dinner and he didnt want to see me alone but then when I arrived at his house we were both a bit caught up in the moment .

I continued to tell her about the night we had and how Edward had dressed the room ,but how the next morning Edward was completely different person and that I had been with as he was horrible to me .I told her about jane coming back and about me hiding in the closet.

I left the bit out about the game "happy families" as she looked shocked enough.

We had been sitting in slience for about five minutes,until I heard her speak.

"Wow bella that's really fucked up really he such a dick for treating you this way...grrr... just wait until I get my hands on him he's dead how could he have been so stupid.I mean I knew you were crushing on him thats why I always made little jokes about it.I thought it was fun to watch you storm now he's hurt you he's gone to far he should of just kept his little crush on you a secret now he's ruined everything,im so gonna kick that boys ass"she growled as I lay my head on her chest.

"Alice what are you talking about he's our teacher you just can'y go up and kick his ass,I think that against the rules,and what do you mean keep his little crush a secret ,he likes me?how do you know Alice what have you not been telling me"I asked as I pulled away from her.

"Ummm well Edward's kinda of my older brother"she whispered.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_**please review im gonna update tomorrow....so enjoy please review and u will get the next one tomorrow i promise**_

_**i love u all ...... all the favorites im gettting woow!!!!!!! im really glad u like this xxxx**_

_**btw next one is a good one all i can say is bella and edward in a closet in school and lots and lots of drama!xxxx**_


	10. Chapter 9

_**Disclaimer- I do not own Twilight.**_

_**Hope you all enjoy this chapter, its been beta'd whoo I got myself a beta and she's known as twilightnaley19 she's an amazing story writer so check her out :Dxxx**_

_**Chapter nine**_

"Ummm well Edward's kind of my older brother." She whispered.

"Alice what do you mean he's your brother! Why have you never told me?" I shouted.

"Bella please I'm so sorry, Edward's actually my half brother, remember, I told you about him and that my mom was married to his dad first but when his dad died my mum met my dad Carlisle and then had me. The reason you never met him was by the time we were friends he was already away off to college and we never seen him for that whole time because he was too absorbed in Jane" She yelled back.

"I know that, I did put the pieces together about that one Alice I'm not that dense. I meant why the hell, did you not tell me that your older brother was going to be my new lit teacher or was that just not that important to you." I sighed.

"It was just, once Edward found out I was your best friend he promised me to keep quiet about it. I suppose that he didn't want the fact that he's your best friend's brother to be added to the list of why he couldn't have you."

She continued,

"But Bella please, having me know will be a good thing in the long run. I'm his sister and your best friend I promise I wont even tell Jasper scouts honour." She said as she raised her little hand in the air.

I laughed.

"Alice it's not that I'm not glad you know, but do you honestly think I will go back to him and say to him 'lets start an affair' I'm not that girl I wont let myself be that girl, besides the way he spoke to me was hurtful he treated me like I was nothing to him. What I did was a big mistake I know it will be something that I'll never forget and I will have to live with that, but I had sex with him Alice! And he treated me like shit, it hurts Alice it really fucking hurts, I just can't forgive him knowing that he can hurt me like that." I sobbed.

I felt Alice shift her weight was that we were sitting shoulder to shoulder, I looked at her as she wrapped her arm around me.

"Bella I know that he's a complete ass, but he does care for you I just know he does, I mean he told me he did. You should have seen his face after that class with you. It was like he had seen the light for the first time in five years Bella, he has fallen for you. You just need to understand, Edward is very dramatic, and why do you think he became a literature teacher for crying out loud. All I know is that right now he's probably freaking out knowing that he was mean or hurtful to you in anyway." she chuckled.

"I just don't know what to do anymore Alice, I mean he's married with a daughter, also he's 28 years old and my teacher, God why do things have to be so fucked up"

I lay down on my bed, closing my eyes. I felt Alice's body lay down beside me rubbing circular motions into my back as I sobbed into my pillow.

****************************************

I awoke the next morning to the scent of coffee and bacon filling my room. I opened my eyes and saw that it was already one in the afternoon. I rolled myself out of bed dragging myself downstairs. I guess I was going to have a lazy Sunday today if I had to face him tomorrow.

I was greeted by Alice in the kitchen this really was a rare sight Alice in an apron with a frying pan in her hand, can anyone else yell Kodak moment. She skipped over kissing me on the cheek.

"Good afternoon sleepy head, sleep well I hope, because you sleep like the dead." she laughed.

"Very funny Alice...now about this breakfast, when do you ever make breakfast for anyone?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

"What do you mean Bella; this is my breakfast spectacular." she joked.

I sat down at the table whilst Alice served me up bacon and eggs with a side of coffee. Although, I was thankful for the breakfast I wondered what this was all about.

"Alice, not that I'm not grateful or anything, but why did you make me breakfast?" I questioned.

"I knew you wouldn't be up to cooking after last night ...and.....you're going to need all the energy you can get if you want to toy with my brother tomorrow."

"Alice what have you been up to while I was asleep?" I asked as I spotted the shopping bags across the kitchen.

"I only bought a few things for you, look do you want to make my brother beg on his knees for forgiveness or not?"

Of course I wanted that, I know I sound like a teenage girl right now and usually I wouldn't allow this sort of behaviour especially from myself, but hey what have I got to loose.

"Fine I will Alice, but only because I have nothing to lose when it comes to him now." I sighed as I shoved scrambled eggs into my mouth.

"Thank you Bella." she squealed, she was actually jumping up and down clapping her hands. I sighed, knowing that I had just unleashed the beast.

Alice was staying over tonight too in order to help me get ready. So we spent the rest of the day talking about her and Jasper and how she and Jasper had been caught by Mrs. Hale on top of the washing machine, let's just say she was not amused that they were having sex on her pride and joy.

We had made it an early night as Alice wanted her beauty sleep if we were going to have to wake up at six to start with my make over.

We were awoken by the drilling noise of my alarm going off I pulled my blanket over my head hoping that the noise would just go away and let me sleep. Suddenly, I was greeted by cold air hitting my legs. Alice was already up and waiting for me.

"Come on Bella you have English for second period this morning now move your butt into that shower, the quicker you get up the quicker this will be over with."

I stumbled out of bed to have Alice shove a bag into my hands as I made my way to the bathroom.

I let the water run down over my skin awaking me to the smells of strawberry and lemons. I had decided to mix it up a little bit today as I decided to use the lemon bath wash. I hopped out of the shower grabbing my towel and wrapped it around my body as I started to brush my teeth.

Once I was dry I looked into the bag Alice gave me to be greeted by a bra set. Well more like a pile of lace set if I was honest. The set was a midnight blue with a half cup bra and black lace underwear to match. I sighed as I pulled them on, and made my way back into my room.

As soon as I entered the room Alice pulled me down on my chair and started to work away at my hair, she let my hair dry naturally and then began curling random sections of my hair to give it that messy look. I knew that Alice would keep things simple for me knowing that I couldn't handle all that fuss. My makeup was beautiful as well; she framed my eyes with big thick dark lashes and gave me a complexion of roses and cream. I have to say I didn't look plain for once.

"Bella I'm all done now, your outfit is hanging on the door I'm away to get a shower and to get dressed will you be ok to get ready on your own." she questioned.

"Yes Aly, I think I can handle it, but if I get stuck will you come and help me...oh come on give me some credit!" I huffed.

"Fine whatever Bell's just be ready to leave in 15 minutes." She said as she wondered out the door.

I pulled on the outfit she had bought and wondered over to my mirror preparing myself for the worst.

_Huh, I actually don't look all that bad_. I had a pair of skinny jeans on with a tight blue vest top with a pair of quilted pumps and a boyfriend blazer. I liked it, it was perfect, and it was casual yet elegant. I grabbed my bag running downstairs to be greeted by Alice ready and waiting.

"How did you get ready so quickly?" I asked.

"I guess it's a gift, now let's get your skinny ass to school, before we're late." She answered as she pushed me towards the door down the steps and into her car.

I sat through Spanish counting down the minutes. I had about seven minutes to go now, thank God, even though I was mad at him I didn't care, I could look at him. I hoped that my new look went down well with him, I mean the rest of the male population seemed to love it especially Mike Newton, god that boy is vile. I suppose that the tight vest top including the bra give me a good cleavage, even though I didn't even have much to begin with.

I tapped my pen nervously against my desk I had about two and a half minutes to go. I knew that I would have to copy Alice's notes later because I had no clue what Miss. Rogers was talking about right now.

I gathered up my things knowing that I had about a minute until the bell went. I watched the hand tick ever so slowly around the clock.

_5,4,3,2,1 with that the bell rang and I sprung out of my seat._

"Have fun Bell's, and remember don't pay him any attention." She whispered to me.

Nodding, I made my way out of the language building and towards English. That's when I realized that I had left my Jane Eyre book in my locker. I ran towards the maths corridor hoping that I could cut through the corridors into the English building.

As I ran up to my locker, I realized that I had managed to bump straight into someone, knocking their papers all over the floor. I reached toward the ground as I picked up all the papers and bundled them into my arms.

"I'm so sorry, really I am, its just I'm late for class and I forgot my books." I stopped right there to be greeted by _him_.

"Bella?" He looked shocked. I had took off my blazer while running, revealing my tight top underneath. I watched him as his eyes made there way up and down my frame.

"Mr Cullen." I turned around opening my locker grabbing my book and walked towards English leaving him standing behind me...hopefully speechless.

I hurried into my seat, knowing that he hadn't been too far behind me.

A few seconds later he entered the classroom, but this time I was able to take in his appearance, he wasn't as neat as usual, he had a five o'clock shadow and his bronzed locks were messy and flopping down over his forehead; he looked a mess.

I could feel my heart sink as I watched him he looked torn up, sad. It was like someone had pulled him apart. Truth be told that's the way I felt right now but I know how to hide my feelings I know how to hide behind a mask.

After about five minutes he finally raised his head from his hands.

"Class please read on silently for this lesson" he mumbled. Something was definitely up he was always so confident he never mumbled never.

For the whole class I just watched him, never once raising his head from his hands.

I looked up at the clock seeing that there was only five minutes left of this class. I buried my head into my book and started to read. I heard someone come up to my desk, but I just ignored it, I knew if I even saw him like that again I would crumble.

From the corner of my eye I saw an essay sitting at the corner of my desk. Damn it I knew I should of looked up! I flipped to the back to see yet another A grade circled in red pen, with yet another note.

_Bella,_

_Please stay after class, my behaviour was uncalled for I'm a mess without you I need to explain._

_Edward._

I looked up to see him staring at me. He was heartbreaking at this moment in time .So I nodded my head in agreement. Looks like my plan is out the window.

With that the bell rang ending this class. I watched as everyone filed out of the classroom, until it was only he and I left. I saw him get up from behind his desk and go to shut the door.

I didn't move from my seat.

"Bella, please speak to me, are you ok can you ever forgive me for what I said to you?" he pleaded.

I made my way up to the front of the room to face him.

"Edward give me one good reason why I should, I gave you something that meant something to me and all you did was stamp and crushed it...crush me. I know that Jane was back .But why did you have to speak to me that way. I was hiding in your closet for the love of God. Do you know how dirty that made me feel?" I yelled.

I looked down at the ground, waiting for him to answer.

"Bella my love I'm sorry I did that and I do realize what happened between us. I knew I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you, but I did and I'm sorry for that. I'm not perfect Bella I make mistakes. I was mad at her for ruining that moment we had, but after you left I realized that I had ruined it ,and it made my crazy thinking I could ever hurt you in that way. You are so caring and sweet and now I have ruined you and for that I'm truly sorry." He said as he lifted my chin to meet his eyes.

"Edward, I just don't know if I can you really did hurt me, how can I know you won't do it again, I mean what would this be between us an affair, I can't do that I can't be the home wrecker I just can't."

I pulled myself away from him knowing that nothing could happen between us not while he was still married, not when he was still with her.

I reached for the door handle, hoping to get out before he could suck me back in, but he called my name one last time I turned around to see him standing there with agonizing eyes.

"Bella, please....I Bella I love you." he whispered.

_**Hahaha sorry now review I know you all will love me for it later.**_

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_**So review and tell me what u think lolxxxxxx.**_


	11. Chapter 10

_**Disclaimer - I do not own twilight unfortunately Edward's all her genius imagination!**_

_**Btw all these reviews omg and alerts and favorites, I love it u are amazing give yourselves a big Cullen bear hug for me:D**_

_**Thanks again to my brilliant beta twilightnaley19 xxxxxx**_

_**Also a lot of you have been asking if its gets more drama oh yes it does my ppl's its coming soon and hopefully you don't hate me by then. I just want to come up with some different instead of someone blackmailing them I'm bored with that plot line.**_

_**Chapter ten**_

"Bella, please....I Bella I love you" he whispered.

He what? This isn't fair he tells me this now.

"You what?"

"I love you Bella, with every inch of me, I need you, and I want you"

"Edward you have a wife and a daughter you can't do this, it's not right, I won't allow you to." I sobbed as the tears started falling down my cheeks.

"Bella, I know this is wrong but I love you, believe me I didn't plan to fall for you. I tried not to. But it didn't matter I knew that we belonged together. I may not know all the little details about you yet Bella like what your favourite colour is and what flower you like best but I know you. I know that you bite your lip when your nervous, or that play with your hands when your stressed, or you pull your hands into your hair when you're worried about someone you love. I can tell you all of that, I know every moment and emotion that you make and all I'm asking for is a chance please Bella just...... let me love you"

I couldn't speak; he realized all the little things that no one has ever noticed before. I was speechless to say the least. I couldn't talk but my body seem to do all the thinking, because I was already walking towards him. My conscience argued with me telling me to back away that I should leave. But I couldn't not after that, I was putty in his hands and he knew it. Usually, I frowned against behaviour like this letting him win but I didn't care.

I closed the space between us wrapping my arms around his neck, crashing my lips towards his. He responded quickly kissing me back with so much force that should be illegal. I felt his tongue grazed my lower lip begging for an entrance. I accepted.

I felt Edward's hands snake around my body lifting me up and pinning me against the wall. I moaned as he made his way down to my collarbone as he nipped and sucked at my skin. I could feel the wetness pooling from me. I fisted my hands into his hair wrapping my legs around his body and he slammed my body against the wall again.

It seemed that right now at this very moment my brain had decided to catch up with my body as my legs unwrapped from around his body and my hands pushed at his chest. Edward back from me panting, I could see that he was even more dishevelled than to begin with. I stood back at the wall trying to catch my breath, before break was over and I had to go to my next class.

Edward had seemed to have closed the space between us again, while I was in my little thought bubble._ God I have to stop doing that around him!_

_"_NO, Edward we can't do this not again. I will make sure we don't. I'm not looking for an affair, I'm looking for love consuming, uncontrollable, unstoppable love. I want to be able to walk around holding hands with the man I love not have to sneak around in a corner making sure that no one sees us. I can't do that. If we love each other, it just shouldn't have to be that way. As much as I love you Edward I won't do it to you your family or most of all Nessie and especially to myself." I said as I grabbed my bag again making my way out of the classroom

"Wait Bella you love me?" he asked, shocked.

"I may love you but it doesn't excuse the fact that you're married and my teacher."

With that I pushed the door open letting it slam behind me, as I made my way to maths.

I couldn't believe I had just rejected the one person who loved me, but it was the right thing to do, so I'm just going to keep telling myself that.

I sat in maths just wanting to have Alice to talk to but I knew I wouldn't see her until lunch.

I haven't got a clue what Mr. Catney is talking about now nor do I care really. It was something to do with trigonometry, so I wasn't listening unless it ended up being an angle that made me and Edward able to see each other I didn't care.

By fifth period I was aching to talk to Alice and the only time I would see her was at lunch. I knew he would be there looking all perfect loving me which just made it even all the better knowing that and doing shit all about it.

As soon as the bell rang I found myself running from French class not caring that Mrs. Mason hadn't dismissed us as yet. I guess I would just have to face her next time and deal with her French wrath...oh well.

As I entered the canteen my foot stumped into the door frame, causing me to lunge forward into a pair of strong arms, I was thankful that I didn't hit the floor.

It was Edward.

I looked around me panic stricken to see if anyone had seen this moment between us. But we were safe there was maybe one or two students arriving and none seemed to be bothered by what had happened.

Well it was two boys so I didn't think they would, I was just glad it wasn't any females because probably by the end of lunch I would have been the student fucking Mr Cullen, because he had caught me, well I sort of am the student who fucked him but hey they didn't know that.

"Edward let go of me now!" I warned, as my eyes fought in a battle with his green iris.

His arms left my body, as he turned away refusing to look at me.

I buried my head and walked towards our table, without any lunch, I guess I'm just not that hungry anymore.

Emmett, Rose, Alice, and Jasper joined me at the table about five minutes after the "moment".

I muttered a hello in there direction as I let my head hit the table not caring that I had just purposely hurt myself. I felt like I was circling into a depression I was confused I didn't know what was happening with me.

God why couldn't I just wake up make it through this year with nothing happening as usual, so I could graduate and get out of here without dragging a pile of emotional crap with me. I really hated him for making me fall in love with him, what an asshole! Yeah.... I liked this plan better blame him. It's his fault not yours.

I raised my head, smiling to myself now. Hahaha self meet denial ummm I think we are going to be great friends when it comes to Edward.

Ok so I was now officially crazy but who cares, I don't.

I realized that everyone at the table was staring at me, not good maybe I did look as crazy as I felt at this moment and time. The worst thing is there not even talking, there were just staring.

"Guy's what's up with you all?" I asked.

"What's wrong with us what's wrong with you more like?" Rose replied.

"Look I'm fine and soon I'll be my normal self so just don't worry about it"

"Belly has someone hurt you or anything? Was it vile boy Newton, do I need to straighten out his pervy way?" Emmett said as he pounded his fists together.

What is he like, a caveman, or he man where he must protect women and then proceeds to bang on his chest? I believe that one day he will say that.

"Emmie" I said sarcastically "I'm fine I do not need you to go all protective daddy bear on me, I'm not one of your little cubs, I can fend for myself." I chuckled.

"Bella I like him this way he's my big grizzly, I like the fact that I get to tame him." Rose joked as she kissed Emmett.

It is so wrong that they talk about each other like that they need to get a room!.

I watched them until I had to stop myself from being physically sick. I knew they loved each other they were made for each other but still I was jealous that could never be me and Edward.

I sighed.

Looking side ways I saw Edward had joined the teachers at their table, two tables up from ours. Our eyes connected as soon as I spotted him. He looked sad but happy almost I couldn't figure it out, all I knew was that I wanted him and couldn't have him.

I felt someone beside me nudge me in the ribs. Alice.

"Bella what are you doing, stop that, people can see you." she hissed.

"Alice its fine we're not together, he told me he loved me and I told him I loved him too, but don't worry he was warned as long as he's married nothing will happen." I whispered so only she could hear.

"He said he loved you Bella? Oh my god I knew it, but what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing absolutely nothing, like I said he's married, and as much as I want him, I'm not going to have him and I'm going to stop talking now because this is your brother and I'm sickening myself every time I mention it to you!"

"Fine whatever Bella but you're going to have to keep me updated on things, just trust me"

"Fine Alice if anything happens I will tell you"

I know I didn't tell her about Edward kissing me but I just couldn't there are some lines I just can't cross yet ....well not yet anyway.

I looked back up to see him still staring at me, I watched him as he started to mouth something to me, but I couldn't make it out.

He tried once more and again, finally I could make out something "My room now!" he mouthed. I shook my head, no I wouldn't, I would have some sort of self control. But his eyes were so sad and agonizing I looked at him once more and nodded, oh god I was going to regret this!

I gathered my books and stood up from the table fixing myself

"Bella, where are you going?" Jasper asked

"Jazz I'm going to the ladies if you must know; I'm really not feeling the best."

"Ok then ......I was wondering why you had no lunch, do you want me or Alice to come with you?"

"No its ok, really I'll be better off on my own"

"Well just call me if you need any thing at all." he replied beaming a caring smile at me.

I really felt grateful that Alice had found someone like Jazz he was a man of few words but when he did they were always filled with compassion and understanding.

I made my way out of the canteen and I could feel Edward's presence behind me, but I continued walking no one but me and him were in the halls. My breathing was starting to become heavier, being alone with him.

"Bella wait!" he exclaimed behind me, grabbing and pulling my arm. Where was he going I thought he said his room?

Before I knew it we were now standing in the storage closet for the English department.

"Edward what are we doing in here, I agreed to go to your room not a closet for god sakes!" I whispered.

"I needed to have you alone my classroom has windows someone could have spotted us."

"Spotted us doing what this isn't happening Edward I can't I won't! Don't make me be a home wrecker"

"I love you and for some reason you love me back and I don't even understand why."

I felt his hand move around my waist, pushing my body back against the shelves full of books, it hurt my back but I didn't care pain for pleasure and all that stuff.

"You don't understand why and neither do I for god's sakes, you're like a walking Greek god and here I am a plain Jane why would you want me?"

"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard in my life Bella."

With that the space between our bodies closed the heat radiating from our bodies encircling us in lust and want, it overwhelmed me. I moaned as I pulled my hands deeper into his hair. I bit his bottom lip begging for entrance which he granted. Our lips devoured each others as he pushed my back against the book case yet again. I groaned wrapping my legs around his waist pushing my self against his now prominent erection.

He moaned my name "Bella!" as I bucked my hips once again against his. I felt my wetness sopping my underwear; I knew he could probably feel it, as it only seemed to excite him more as he pushed himself against me

His lips made their way down my neck as he continued to buck his hips against my wetness, making my back bang off the case repeatedly.

"Edward....ahhh... we ....have ....too stop.....ahh...this." I panted as he sucked and nipped my collarbone.

He pulled back from me only to rest his hands against my face, as we tried to calm our ragged breaths.

"Bella.....please...its ok....I'm leaving her I'm leaving Jane......I want you."

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_**Now review and please don't hate me for it ...sorry about the lack of updates I'm like three days late but fanfic wouldn't let me sign in, so it got confusing anyway.**_

_**This chapter was for meadhbh I especially re wrote it for her ...she knows how this will end and she wanted her cupboard scene...hopefully u like it.**_


	12. Chapter 11

_**Disclaimer I do not own Twilight. **_

_**Any way my internet was gone for a couple of days but now I'm back and with an extra long chapter hope you like it and don't kill me I will be updating regularly from now on so please enjoy.**_

_**As always I must thank my wonderful beta twilightnaley19: Dxxxxxxx thanks for fixing everything | do wrong lol.**_

_**Chapter eleven**_

_"Bella.....please...its ok....I'm leaving her I'm leaving Jane......I want you."_

"You're what? You're going to leave her for me?!" I was shocked I was getting what I wanted this couldn't have been happening there's no way things could work out this well.

"I am leaving her, I don't love her I love you Bella, I will leave her but, even when I do leave her we will still have to sneak around I am your teacher and unfortunately our relationship still has to remain a secret." He sighed as he cupped my face.

"It's not that I'm not grateful you are leaving her Edward but this was my problem that we would have to crawl about hiding I hate that.... I don't want that, I want you I'm not ashamed of our relationship and I know we have to keep it a secret ....but I just don't know ......I hate this ....all of it." I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks.

With that the bell rang, we didn't move, we just stood there looking at each other, hands held together, eyes boring into each others.

"Bella please don't go......I can't bear us to be apart right now." he sighed.

"Edward I have to, I need to get out of here we both do.....I'm sorry I know I'm ruining the 'moment' but we're in a cupboard and as much as I want you we just can't."

I parted ours hands letting go as I poked my head out the door. I heard voices from around the corner so with that I hurried out hoping that no one had spotted me.

**************

After the final bell rang I made my way to my truck to go to my favourite place, the park. Over the past couple of months, I seemed to live in the place, Alice and Rose would always ask me where I was but I always changed the subject. I don't know why I didn't tell them...well because it was kind of sad that someone of my age would sit in a park all day. I should of been in a mall but that just wasn't me. I suppose the truth why I really liked this park was because of the memories I had here with my mum. We used to spend every Saturday here together; she always used to make food for a picnic but as I was only little I never knew that cheese and tomato sauce sandwiches weren't the height of normalcy.

I really did miss her, I guess that's why I always sat by this tree it's where we always had sat every Saturday without fail for four years. Now my house was always empty, dad worked a lot recently because of a big case going on in Port Angeles. So I came here, being here always made me feel more comfortable, like she was near me watching over me almost.

I pulled out yet another classic this time Pride and Prejudice, I suppose I should read something from this century, but I just can't bear to read anything else. I mean I did have a few of the books from the Gossip Girl series Alice had bought me from last year, but I hadn't even touched them, I just couldn't.

I realized that the relationships were not perfect even back then, every relationship seemed to have hurdles to overcome but in the end the couple always ended up together well apart from Cathy and Healthcliff, but in reality I guess we all have a Cathy and Heath cliff ending, It can't be helped.

I heard a throat clear behind me.

"Bella!"

Edward.

"Hello...ummm where's Nessie you haven't lost her again?" I questioned confused.

"No I haven't lost her I learnt my lesson the last time I don't think I would handle it very well if it happened again, I would end up with heart failure...she's actually with my parents today I had Esme on the phone scolding me for not having Nessie over more often, so I brought her over to there house today...I wasn't going to come here, but I don't know what happened I felt a pull to come here ....anyway I hope you don't mind me here......because I can go...I mean if you like."

He stood there awkwardly waiting for me to answer.

"Yes I think that it is best if you do leave Edward," I saw his face sadden. "But only if I can come with you, gossip central will be here soon and we really don't want to be seen together if you want all this to work out."

The smile rose on his face.

"We can go to my place, Bella if you would like?"

"I don't know whether that's such a good idea Edward, since what happened the last time I was there, I really don't want a repeat performance do you?"

He winced.

"Bella its fine I promise you I would never have dreamt of taking you back to my home if there was even a chance of you getting hurt again, Jane is in Paris so we will be alone and Nessie is staying the night at my parents."

"Let's go then!" I grinned at him.

I stood up grabbing his hand pulling him towards the parking lot, I almost ran to the car park trying to get there quicker.

"Bella we don't need to run, we do have some time you know." he chuckled.

"No but we're wasting time right now with all this chatter." I said pulling at his arm, like an excited child at the site of a brand new toy.

I had no idea where all of this excitement had come from, but I liked the fact that I was more impulsive around Edward, I could let loose.

Finally we reached the Volvo I hurried myself into the car. I saw that Edward must have been feeling the same way as me because he was speeding down the highway. I felt a rush at his speed and knowing that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him in this moment.

We reached his house. I sighed in relief knowing that we were seconds away from being alone, I know he hasn't left Jane just yet ...but when in Rome I say!.

Edward jumped out of the car and raced around to my side; swinging my door open he whisked me out of my seat. Lifting me over his shoulder he kicked the door closed slapping my bum on the way, as we made our way into his house. I giggled.

"Edward put me down." I laughed.

"Whatever you say Bella!"

All of a sudden my body was off his shoulders and in mid air. I screamed. My body hit the sofa with a bang.

"Edward! What the hell was that?" I yelled.

"What, you told me to put you down Bella." he said innocently.

I crossed my arms and pouted pushing my head back into the cushions.

I'm not being a pouty teenager I just wanted to see where it gets me, because Edward always seems to get his way with me as soon as he flashes his perfect crooked smile and gazes at me with his emerald like irises.

I looked up to see Edward was gone from the living room seconds later he returned with a notebook and pen in his hands.

"What's that for?" I questioned.

He sat down next to me pulling our bodies together so I was snuggled at his side as he draped his arms over my body.

"Well I always carry this notepad with me ever since I met you, I ended up writing pages of little things I wanted to know about you and I could never ask you what I wanted to know before...but now I can so I want to know everything about you even what colour toothbrush you use." he chuckled.

"Um.....ok....well go on then but every question you ask me you also have to answer. Agreed? Also I use a blue toothbrush just to let you know!"

"Agreed ...well mines is red but anyway on with the first question right I want to ask as many as possible before you have to leave." he sighed.

I hated the fact that I would have to leave so soon I didn't want to.

"Bella when's your birthday?"

"13 May what's yours?"

"16 November" he answered "Next one ...favourite colour?"

"Green yours?" I blushed I hoped he realized I meant because of his eyes it was the most important colour in my world.

"Brown." he answered .....Brown why on earth would he like brown its dull oh wait its just like my eyes huh I guess he did pick up on the eyes thing.

"Question three what's your favourite flower Bella?"

"Ahh....lets see orchids, freesias and especially red roses." I blushed "What about you what's yours?"

"All the same." he mumbled.

"Seriously the same ...why do you like them so much?" I wondered.

"Because Bella they all remind me of you." he smiled, which only caused me to go yet another shade of red.

"So....ummm Bella what kind of books and music do you like?"

"Well I mostly like the classics where both are concerned you know Jane Eyre Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights.....and my favourites in music would have to be Debussy, but all the same I do like more current bands like the Killers, Kings of Leon and Maroon 5 so it's all pretty basic but what about you?"

I lowered my head into his chest it felt weird someone wanting to know all this and truly be interested in what I'm saying.

"Bella you are truly my perfect match...my mate, my soul mate. We have the same tastes in most things especially music I cannot believe you also like Debussy. You are amazing, perfect. My Bella." He whispered as he kissed the top of my head.

I love the way he just called me _his_ Bella I wanted to be his and no one else's.

"Anyway...back to questioning what do you prefer lake or seas...books or movies...the left or right side of the bed...who do you get on with more your mum or your dad?" he rambled on.

"I guess lakes but I don't have a reason why...I love books more than the films because I love getting lost in the imagination of the writer and the little world his or her books seem to create...and for what side of the bed I like I have no idea, but if I was with you I really wouldn't care. But as far as parents go I would say I was closer to my mum, she was my best friend and although she was a little crazy at times....I mean when I was five she got me up in the middle of the night so we could bake fairy cakes whilst dressed as fairies." I sighed I really did miss her.

"I mean my dad and I are close, but just not as close as we were but its not to say that I don't love him any less I don't know what I would do if any thing happened to him."

I looked up to see Edward staring at me in confusion.

"Bella why do you talk about your mum in past tense?" he asked as I watched his brow furrow in confusion.

"Well she passed away about seven years ago."

Edward pulled me onto his lap, cuddling me to his chest.

"Bella I'm so sorry what happened? Are you okay...I mean what happened to her? It must have been horrible you two sounded so close I hate to think of what you went through."

"I'm fine Edward really.....I mean now I'm fine I understand that it was better for her to go than to see her still suffering from the pain, she had cancer, but when the doctors found it, it was to late it was already spreading through out her body, they tried to treat her in hopes that it would help but it dint as the days went on she just got weaker until she couldn't fight it any longer....her body just gave up."

I clung to Edward's chest as the tears poured down my face.

"Shh, Bella its ok…you will always have me. I will always be here for you, I promise you that." he said as his had rubbed my back.

"Edward I need to stop I'm getting your shirt all wet." I cried, raising my body away from his.

I felt his arms circle around me,

"Bella do you honestly think I give a shit about my shirt when the woman I love is crying, I don't care Bella." he scoffed as he buried me against his chest.

After about five minutes, I looked up to see him just looking at me; I could tell he was worried. I pulled his face down to mine pulling his lips onto mine.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"Bella you will never have to thank me, I love you." he whispered as he brushed the tears falling down my face.

"I love you too....but Edward could you please tell me where the bathroom is?" I asked.

He chuckled "Yeah sure down the hall last door on the left."

I stood up making my way down into the bathroom. The bathroom was French themed with creamy antique furniture, pictures of the sites of Paris hung on the walls each picture was a black and white still each picture more beautiful than the next.

Washing my face, I dried off looking in the mirror, I sighed looking at my puffy red face..._I looked like hell...just great._

I rummaged around in the drawers under the sink hoping to find something, but I had no such luck there was nothing to cool down the redness or the puffiness. But I did come across something familiar a small blue box; they must have been Jane's.

_I stared confusingly at the box. I couldn't be late could I? NO I think I have a few more days to go.....I never work like clockwork._

I tossed the box back into the drawer realizing that I was just being silly. Making my way back up the hall, I was greeted by the sound of muffled voices.

_Huh I guess he turned the TV on ....question time must be over now._

I turned the corner into the living room realizing that in fact it wasn't the TV and Edward wasn't alone....there was a man with him.

Both turned to look at me.

SHIT.

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_**Hahaha I'm the queen of cliff hangers and this one has two. **_

_**So please review and tell me what do you think of this and how it is ...who ever gets it right will get a small role in the story.**_

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	13. Chapter 12

_**Disclaimer I don't own Twilight.**_

_**As always I would like to thank my beta twilghtnaley19 thank you for making this story bearable to read lol.**_

_**And I think I'm going to mention all my reviewers from the last chapter.**_

_**rd7,tay tay twilight, acw1 ,twilghtnaley19, pookietn, booklover 1493, rissacullen-team Edward, babyright 33, taykix, laurrr, kimicullen1721, emma217.**_

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_**___________________________________________________________________________________________________**_

_**Chapter Twelve**_

_Crap crap crap!!!!!_

_Do I say anything? Nope just run for it Bella my mind was shouting at me._

Neither of them had said anything to me or each other. I looked at Edward to his expression was full of worry and confusion but the other man was in full shock he looked almost angry. His anger was a clear shot for me to run like hell!

So with that I turned ripping open the front door and just running I saw a bushy area close to the house, I decided to hide. To wait until the unexpected guest had left. This time I wanted to know who this person was and what was going to happen with our fucked up situation now someone had spotted us.

I buried myself within the hedges until I was sure I couldn't have been spotted.

I peered out of the nestled branches looking for some sort or sign that he had gone. I pulled myself back, and just waited for the sound of a car driving off. I started to wonder who this man was he was quite short compared to Edward and he also looked a lot younger too, but wise for his age. He dressed in a smart grey stone suit and had jet black slick hair he was beautiful not as good as Edward but he was good looking he had piercing blue eyes. I knew he didn't look like Edward so I assumed he was a family member. I knew I would find out as soon as said person had left.

About half an hour later the deep red Bentley took off down the driveway, I waited until I was sure he was gone. I pushed myself up and raced towards the door. I pushed open the door, slamming it behind me I moved towards the living room. I rushed towards Edward who had his face buried in his hands.

I sat down beside him wrapping my arms around his body.

"Edward? Edward what happened who was HE? Why was he here?" I questioned as I ran my hands up and down his back hoping to calm him.

"It was Jane's brother Alec." he mumbled his face still in his hands.

"Edward!!! What the hell did you say how the fuck did you explain me?" I yelled.

Ok, so we are completely screwed utterly and totally screwed, he will just run screaming to Jane and then all of this will get out! I thought.

"He came here to see Nessie....when you left it was strange he never mentioned you at all...we just sat there ....in silence. After about fifteen minutes he sighed got up and walked towards the door and said 'I'll pretend I was never here' and walked out."

"Wait what does that mean he won't say anything to Jane I mean?"

"Bella I don't know I just don't know, but I mean he actually didn't catch us doing anything we shouldn't if he ever asks I'll make up an excuse...I'll figure something out Bella don't worry. This is my problem I dragged you here yet again so I will figure it out." he said as he grasped my hands in his.

"This is our problem Edward we will deal with all of this together...I love you and I will stand by you."

I watched and waited for his reply but nothing was said, he turned away pinching the bridge of his nose.

I knew from that he was annoyed at someone or something...was it me he was angry at. I felt anxious had I said too much? Should I have just left him alone?

Catching me off guard he spun on his heels as he strode towards me quickly and purposely.

He wrapped his arms around my waist grasping the small of my back as he crashed my body into his inhaling his scent as his lips crashed, onto mine. He bit my bottom lip, begging for an entrance I hardly agreed I wove my hands into his hair pulling him even closer.

He pulled away from the kiss, and hastily grabbed his tie yanking if off his neck discarding it on the floor, I watched the motions of his hands as they pulled at his shirt ripping and tearing at his shirt I heard buttons fall at my feet.

I watched in awe as he moved toward me.

"Keep still." he whispered to me.

I froze in my place, waiting silently for what he was going to do. I felt my knees shake beneath me.

"Raise you arms Bella." He growled.

He slowly raised my top above my arms exposing my mid drift, I shivered as the cold air hit my chest, and Edward slowly pulled it off my head throwing it on the floor.

He lowered himself down my body, I moaned as he placed light kisses along my waist band. Groaning his fingers wrapped around the buttons of my jeans pulling my jeans open, I moaned as I felt the wetness pool from my folds soaking my underwear.

He grunted as he slipped my jeans off my legs, letting them pool at my feet I knew he had saw my underwear sopping with want for him.

He quickly removed my underwear leaving me completely exposed; I could feel the lust building within me. I wanted him to fill every corner, every depth of me.

My walls began to tighten as I felt his tongue graze back up my body. He stopped as he grasped my nipple in his hot mouth I felt his rough mouth bite and sucked at my nipple I shivered as a moan ripped through my body, as his tongue flicked against my erect nipple, his hand moved up my body pulling at my other breast massaging and rubbing at my breast,I could feel the wetness growing even more within my folds.

His mouth moved back up to my lips his breath hot and uneven matching my own, his lips attacked mine once again our tongues intertwining with each others, and I could feel the want encircling us both.

"Bella." he moaned as he bit my lip.

I reached my hands down to his slacks unbuttoning them; I pulled them down boxers in tow. I felt his erection press firm against my thigh.

I brought my hand down between our bodies and pressed my palm against his erection. He was huge and hard, and he grunted as I wrapped my fingers around him. His hips jerked, and he pushed himself against my hand.

"Fuck Bella…" he grunted, god hearing him swear was so sexy I love the way it fell from his lips, he sounded so rugged which only made me want him more.

He bit my lip hard in response I groaned I liked it when he was a little rough with me especially since he was a gentleman most times.

I rubbed my hand against his dick harder, faster. He groaned and bucked his hips against me, pressing his hard cock into my palm. I continued to pump against him, I loved hearing his breathing becoming more ragged.

"Bella!" I heard him growl as he sucked at my ear lobe.

I moaned as he bit and sucked at my lobe GOD!

His hands snaked around my waist as he lifted me up crashing my body against the wall. I felt his mouth all over my neck I groaned as I felt his tongue trace my collarbone. Lifting my legs I wrapped them around his body as I began to grind against his hard on.

I heard him hiss through his teeth, I again bucked my hips harder against him, he growled his head dropping against my shoulder as he slammed my body against the wall as I once more bucked my hips. I could feel my body heating up with want.

"Edward please don't make me wait any long I need you, I want you." I moaned as I bit my lip pushing myself against him yet another time.

"Bella tell me what you want, and I will give it to you." he mumbled against my neck as he sucked at my skin, I moaned. I could feel all of my thoughts and fears slip away I knew soon I wouldn't be able to speak I needed him now.

"I want to ...feel you!"

Once again his lips began to trace across my breast as his hands made their way down my body, I felt his fingers slide into my folds as they started to circle my clit I moaned as he flicked hard against it.

"Oh Edward."

I felt his fingers slip deep into my folds, I could feel them curling around my wetness as he pumped his fingers in and out of my folds. I yelped as he bit hard down on my nipple.

"Bella! I love the way you feel." he moaned, I bucked eagerly against his hand.

_I could feel the pain but it was washed over with pleasure god his fingers could untie me and make me lose myself ....oh god how I love this man._

My hands began to slid along the walls behind me searching for something to grab onto I found nothing.

As Edwards hands began to pump hard and faster my hands began to dig into the paper on the walls and I didn't care.

I felt his hands slip out of my folds I begged.

"Please Edward don't stop please."

I suddenly felt him push into me as my back slammed against the wall I didn't care that I would be sore in the morning, it felt so good my legs wrapped around his body as he thrusted in and out of me I moaned.

"Edward faster."

I yelled as I felt him thrust into me hard again and again, my back hit off the wall repeatedly. My hands dug into his back as I felt him fill every corner of me.

_Oh...... my..... fucking....... god._

I could feel screams of his name escape from my lips but I was too far gone that I didn't care.

"Bella your so tight ugghhh and so wet." I heard him grunt as he thrusted so hard that my whole body was slammed against the wall. His hands wrapped around my neck as he pulled my lips to him and he kissed me roughly as he thrusted once again.

I could feel my walls tightening, I was coming and hard. He thrusted fast and quickly into me making small yelps escape from my lips as he thrusted in one last time he whispered to me.

"I love you."

I came undone I felt heat surging through my body as I shivered, my face flushed as I came screaming his name, I didn't care that I was screaming, and neither did Edward as I felt him explode within my walls groaning my name. "Bella!"

Edward thrusted into me one last time before we slumped to the floor, I found that I was lying on top of Edward, I sighed coming down from my high as my hands made circular motions on his chest.

This is the way the last time should have been I thought to myself as I felt Edwards hands run through my hair. I snuggled into his chest knowing that soon enough he would be mine.

As my hands trailed up and down his torso, I felt his hand grasp mine and encircle our fingers. I lifted my head as I watched him bring my hand to his mouth as he kissed every single one of my knuckles.

"I love you Bella Swan......I can't wait until I have you as my very own, just me you and Nessie." he sighed.

"I love you too Edward." I whispered as I kissed his chest.

We just lay there holding each other until I knew I had to leave. Charlie would be home soon and I needed to be there when he got back from Port Angeles.

I grabbed my clothes as I hastily pulled on my jeans and slipped on my top and shoes.

"Edward I need to leave."

"I wish you didn't have to go, I hate the feeling I get when I know you have to leave please just stay with me please?" he begged.

I hated the fact too but I hadn't spent proper time with my dad in weeks, and truth be told I missed him.

"I know but I do need to leave." I sighed.

"Ok let me get my keys and we will go." he said, grabbing his keys he gave me one last kiss before we headed for the park.

*****

When I reached home it was around eight, I knew Charlie would be home and he would need something to eat. I grabbed pasta and some sauce, in order to make Charlie's favourite. Once I had the pasta boiling and the sauce in the pan I went to the fridge to get the ground beef out adding it to the mix of sauce mushrooms and peppers.

After about half an hour dinner was near enough finished, I sat the table and I wiped up some plates as I served up the pasta.

I heard a voice croak from the living room I rushed in to see Charlie standing at the panel of the fire place. I rushed towards him hugging him fiercely.

"Hey Bells guess you missed me huh?" he chuckled.

"Of course I did your my dad just don't leave for another while ok?"

"No problem Bell's but I really am hungry and I can smell some of your amazing cooking so how about we go and get some grub." He said laughing.

"Ok as long as you stop saying grub dad."

"Whatever Bell's don't diss my wording...just because I'm more down than you."

I blushed what was he even saying I think he has actually gone crazy _diss _ what year is this 1992 I'm not some teenage bopper out of clueless. I think he spent too much time with Emmett to be honest. I chuckled.

"Dad please stop and don't ever say diss again"

He grinned at me," You're just jealous cause I'm the bomb Bells." He said as he added a fork full of pasta to his mouth.

I rolled my eyes at him, yup he's definitely crazy.

The rest of the night we just caught up I told him about how Emmett had broken yet another porch swing of Mrs. Hale and how Alice had her credit card taken off her. I thought it was really quite funny watching her bounce up and down as Emmett hung the cards above his head. But really I don't think that he had thought it all through because you should have seen his face when she climbed up his back to reach them.

We finally had made it to bed about 11pm I crashed into my bed tired from today's activities mostly. I reached over to my night stand to see a text from Edward.

_Night beautiful, I shall see you tomorrow, I love you, tonight I will be dreaming of you xxx Edward._

I smiled as I buried my head into the pillow hoping that tomorrow will come quick enough.

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_**A/N Thanks to all who reviewed and guess but only one person got who the surprise person was oh well.**_

_**I want to thank you all for reading I seem to have 10 loyal reviewer and I love you all but I see a lot of other ppl have added me on story alert so please review and tell me what you think. Because it's amazing hearing what you all are thinking about this story and I love any of your opinions or comments.**_

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	14. Chapter 13

_**Disclaimer----- I own nothing at all it all belongs to the brilliant Mrs. Meyer and her Twilight saga however I do own my twisted little plot line lol.**_

_**Once again I would like to thank my beta twilghtnaley19 who always beta my stories and leaves heartwarming and encouraging comments thank you!!!!! Check out her stories they're amazing.**_

_**_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________**_

_**Chapter thirteen**_

About three weeks had passed since Edward and I had last been alone, Jane was back and I knew her and Edward were fighting again every time he tired to discuss that things weren't working out she would always change the topic, which ended in her storming off and leaving him alone and feeling like shit, I hated her for it, I could feel the anger building up in my chest just thinking about her.

I always saw him at school, but we were always professional, unfortunately when it came to our relationship, since the last occasion in the cupboard I never stayed behind after class this way it was easier because people would start to suspect after a while. But sometimes on the rare occasion when we passed each other in the crowded halls he would brush my fingertips sending shocks through my body which always left me with a beetroot face and a goofy smile plastered all over my face,_ price to pay I guess._

I flopped down onto my bed, having no idea how I was going to spend my Friday night; Edward couldn't leave the house so I was stuck on what to do. I sighed knowing that Jane would be leaving tomorrow morning, and I could finally see Edward.

Grabbing my phone, I dialed and waited,

"Bella long time no speak." Alice giggled _sarcastic little pixie._

"Alice what? You saw me two hours ago," I stated defensively.

"I'm not retarded Bella I do know that piece of valuable information ughhh......I meant outside of school I never do.... we all never do or my brother seriously Bella snap out of it already geeez," she grumbled.

"You done....if you let me speak at all you would have known I was calling you to see if you wanted to help with some shopping but if you're going to be bitchy ill just hang up."

"Oh my god Bell's yes I'm sorry I'm being miss pixie hell today I really don't mean too." she yelled excitedly through the phone.

"Bell's I'll be there in is okay, thank you! Bell.........." before she was finished she was cut off.

"Alice? Alice? Hello?"

I heard a rustle and then a door slammed close. I sat down on my bed with my phone pressed against my ear feeling terribly confused.

"Alice seriously if you don't answer I'm hanging up in 3......2.......1......"

"Bella"

"Edward?" I questioned confusingly.

"Yes its me, Bella, I had to wrestle Alice for the phone once I realized it was you," he chuckled.

"Edward really you're a 28 year old man do you not think fighting with your teenage sister is a bit to childish?"

"I guess that's what having you in my life does to me, and besides I never hear you complaining."

"Huh .....So Edward what was your mission for taking the phone oh so rudely?" I chuckled.

"Well it was to hear my beautiful Bella's voice....and also ask if you're free this weekend?"

I blushed as he asked about my plans, I knew Charlie was away this weekend, I could feel my mind wander off imagining me and Edward together this weekend. I could suddenly feel butterflies rise in my stomach.

"Well Charlie's away this weekend...but I don't know whether I can I might be too busy washing my hair and watering the plants you know I have been neglecting them lately." I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing.

"I guess your plants need you more than I do so it will just be me alone then in a beautiful suite in Seattle, in a lovely hotel, that I booked us for the weekend." he sighed dramatically.

"Edward you didn't ...not for me I don't want that I don't need that all I want and need is you ...always you."

"Bella I know you hate presents and anything mind-blowing but I just want us to be able to spend time as a real couple, I mean I would finally get to hold your hand and walk next to you I just want to go somewhere where we can be together."

"Edward I want that too but when? How? How will we work this out?"

"I'll have Alice explain everything to you, before she chews the phone out of my hand." he chuckled.

I could hear Alice threatening him in the background, "I swear Edward, I will so help me I will."

"Bell's I have to go...look I'll see you soon I love you don't worry we will be together soon."

"Love you too...but what's Alice talking about?" I questioned.

"Umm ....It's nothing I'll see you later sweetheart."

With that the phone line went dead, I decided to get changed before Alice arrived, I ran to my closet to see what I could wear, that Alice would deem appropriate for an outing. After five minutes I gave up deciding on what she would find suitable. I changed into a vintage rolling stones t-shirt, dark skinny jeans and a pair of my old faithful-my converse.

Hearing the loud beeping coming from my driveway, I grabbed my bag and headed outside just leaving my hair as natural.

I was greeted by a bouncing Alice who crushed my body in a pixie death hug which by the way is bone crushing -ironic huh.

"Bell's come on lets go we're going to Port Angeles." she giggled as she pushed me into the car slamming the door behind me, skipping across the driveway into the other side of her BMW.

*********************************************

Two hours and multiple shopping bags later, Alice was dragging me into yet another fancy boutique that looked exactly the same as the last few I was beginning to regret even asking for her help, I forgot how crazy she got when she was shopping it actually is a proper addiction, I mean once you have seen Alice it just confirms that fact.

I pulled myself along behind her to see her eyeing a beautiful sapphire blue dress, I sighed knowing I could never afford anything like it, It was figure hugging and cut just above the knee, it was plain there was no detail but it was beautiful.

"Bella look at this work of art you have to buy it, look at this cut its amazing," she squealed.

I lifted the price tag to nearly have my eyes fall out of their sockets, right now I knew I definitely couldn't afford it, it cost more than my car well actually it was twice the price of my truck.

"Alice I do not have eight hundred dollars to spend on a dress!" I yelled.

I blinked as I suddenly saw that she was waving something small and black in front of my face-a credit card.

"Where the hell did you get that from?" I questioned confusingly.

"No one Bella it doesn't matter who I got it from all I know is that this dress is perfect for you and we're putting it on the card!" She huffed as she held it up against my body.

I snatched the card out of her dangling hand and immediately searched for a name hoping to not see what I knew was already there, but unfortunately my hopes were squashed because there it was in small sliver letters MR..

I pushed the card back into Alice's chest feeling angry that he had even thought I would use such a thing it was absolutely ridiculous.

"Alice please put that away; I can not believe you even took it from him thinking I would touch it!" I scoffed.

"Bella he wouldn't let me leave until I had taken it I knew you wouldn't use it and I wasn't planning on telling you I had it...but that dress...it was made for you it would be a crime to let anyone else have it," she stated oh so smugly.

"Alice I'm going to go off to cool down, I'll be back in ten you carry on looking." I sighed.

"Ok Bell's....if you're sure. I'll meet you outside in ten and then we can go for something to eat."

I quickly hugged Alice and walked out of the shop letting the chill air wash over my face and through my hair soothing my anger. I made my way down the line of boutiques and salons, hoping to trigger in my mind something that I would need for this weekend.

Nearing the end of the huddle of shops, I saw a drugstore and another little hide away shop so to speak, I sighed as I walked into the shop to be greeted by racks and aisles decorated with an abundance of colorful underwear sets.

I searched through the French antique like racks hoping to find something to wear and praying that Alice didn't find me in here looking for something for this weekend, even though I was angry, I was still excited to see him.

After looking through about a hundred racks. Well a hundred in my mind anyway, I finally found something I knew I could wear, I mean without my whole body burning in embarrassment.

The set was a creamy ivory soft to touch silk; it was cupped in a deep midnight blue lace which hugged the half cup bra and also around the legs of the ivory matching silk boxers. It was prefect for me actually the more I thought about it. I paid the snobby woman behind the counter and hurried out of the store afraid of being seen in such a place.

I walked into the drugstore hoping to pick up a few essentials before heading back to Alice.

I rushed down the aisles throwing things into the basket, shampoo, shower gel, razors....I stopped at the end of the aisle to see something blue catch my eye, I picked up the box of tampons and prayed that my period didn't come this weekend.

I started to do some math in my head some mental calculation to figure out this weekend's fate.

_NO! NO! NO! I thought ...it could be! I couldn't be...its been seven weeks since my last period? OH god what if I am!_ I threw the tampons back on the self and ran out of the aisle.

I could feel the tears running down my cheeks, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't catch my breath.

_No this can't be happening no lots of people miss there their periods some don't even get them for a couple of months at a time._

I felt my body slip down the backs of the shelf behind me as my legs hit against the cold tile floor. I pulled my legs to my body and hid my face in my thighs letting my tears soak my jeans.

I realized I needed to pull myself together I might be wrong, I may not be...., but I was going to find out.

I lifted my body off the floor and pushed myself through the rows of shelves looking for it, I came to the last row near the counter and there they were. I started to get confused, there were so many kinds ones with plus signs ones with minus signs, I had no clue what it all meant, after a few minutes of debating I decided to opt for the one that told you pregnant or not pregnant, I think I would need it right now because confusing signs wouldn't be the best thing right now.

I grabbed the box and made my way up to the counter, and was greeted by an old lady behind the counter giving me a sympathetic smile as she checked through the pregnancy test.

"That would be twenty dollars fifty cent sweetie." she smiled at me,_ great people were already feeling sorry for me and I didn't even know if I was a stupid knocked up teen yet._

I handed her the money and just smiled back as she handed me my change.

"Don't worry cupcake everything will be fine...I just know it."

"Ummm thanks." I mumbled.

I made my way up the board walk to be greeted by a crazed Alice.

"Bella! Where the fuck have you been I have been waiting twenty minutes outside that shop!" she yelled.

"Alice ...I'm sorry...I guess I lost track of time," I stuttered.

"Bella what's wrong? Are you ok? You look a mess what happened in the past half of an hour that changed everything?" she asked concerned.

"Nothing I just need to go home...I'm not that hungry anymore."

"Okay then. But please promise me that you will tell me eventually what's wrong. Promise me that bell's!"

"I promise Aly I promise I will as soon as I figure out what's happening myself, but please I need to go now!"

"Fine let's get you home then." she sighed as she wrapped her arm around my wais t and guided me to the car.

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We had been sitting silently in my driveway for the past five minutes now; Alice had held my hand the whole ride home. She didn't know what was wrong but as always I knew she sensed something strange about me even if she couldn't pinpoint what was wrong yet I knew she would soon.

I sighed; I knew I had to go into the house to find out .I felt my knee starting to shake uncontrollably beneath me. Clearing my throat I pushed at the car door forcing it open.

"Alice today's been great thanks for coming with me and helping me and my fashion confused self." I chuckled and forced a smile.

"Your fine anytime you need me I will be there don't worry about that...I always will be go and get some rest, my brother's picking you up tomorrow at 9am so remember to be fresh faced," she giggled as she pulled me into a tight hug, I realized that something also was off with her laugh, I prayed that she didn't catch on with what was wrong with me.

"Thanks Aly, I'll call you tomorrow." I said as I gathered my bags and got out of the car.

"Bella wait take this with you...its something for dinner tomorrow." She smiled.

I reluctantly took the bag, I didn't have the energy to fight with her anymore over that dress, I mumbled thanks and headed towards the door.

I dropped my bags once I was inside scanning the living room to see that Charlie had already left, rustling through the bags I found the test. Clutching the test I made my way up the stairs knowing I had to do this now before my body slumped to the floor over worry.

I waited curled up on the floor praying that my worst fear didn't come to life, that I would hopefully make a lucky break. I watched the test and waited, I watched the blank screen waiting for the answer I was dreading to fizzle up on the screen and there it was….

Pregnant and screwed.

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_**A/N all you brilliant reviewers are amazing all those reviews keep me going and make me write its your like of this story that makes me update so please continue and also I am sorry about not updating my internet has been messed up for a while now and I felt really bad I couldn't update this chapter. Because I have had it written for the past four days grrrrr.**_

_**Anyway please review I love you all**_

Lauren

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	15. Chapter 14

_**A/N sorry ppl about how crap I have been with updates I got my gcse's results and then I switched schools and I already HAVE tons of coursework, I felt so bad I had written half of this in school................ sorry again.**_

_**And thank u again to my beautiful beta twilightnaley19 for being so understanding for this chapter's lateness and my crappy mess I gave it to her in! Lol thank u all I'm so sorry.**_

_**xxxxxx hope u enjoy its extra ANGST FOR YA! PROMISE!**_

_**Chapter Fourteen**_

Pregnant and screwed.

I'm pregnant me Bella Swan the chief's daughter all around good girl. I'm 17 and pregnant, pregnant with my teacher's baby not some spotted faced teenager the same age as me, my 28 year old teacher who's married already with a kid of his own. I'm pregnant and it's with my best friend's brother.

I was having an affair it didn't seem real or like reality. It was like living the life of some angsty teenage romance novel, I felt dirty, used and unclean.

Tears were rushing, down my face as they slid down my raw reddened skin.

Pushing myself along the floor, I hauled my body up to open the door, I couldn't even pick myself up off the floor to stand I belonged here I thought, as I crawled against the rough wooden floor feeling my salty tears burning my eyes.

Fisting my duvet I pulled my self onto my bed. Sobbing into my pillow I had no one but myself and this person this unwanted little thing growing inside of me, I couldn't tell anyone ,I knew I would have to tell Edward but no one else. I couldn't face the shame but I guess that's what I deserve for being a stupid little home wrecker.

Pushing my face deeper into the now soaking wet material I came to the realization that everyone would eventually find out, and I would be that pregnant girl that everyone whispered about as she walked past, I would lose friends, I would lose everything, my life, my chance to escape here the one thing I tried so hard to not to get caught up in, I fell into it with-out even knowing.

I forced my hand in front of me as my fingertips searched for my phone, I clasped my shaking hands around the phone fumbling for the buttons I needed. Pushing in his number I raised the now trembling phone to my ear. My breathing was ragged with every cry my chest seemed to fight out a breath.

Then there it was his velvety voice answering on the other end, my heart still raced at the sound.

"Bella?"

But I couldn't speak my mind was screaming, shouting at me to just spit it out to tell him but no words would come out, I couldn't say it. I let the sound of my heartbreaking sobs release down the phone, flowing freely there was no point this time I couldn't build a wall to block out these feelings....I was fucked..We both were.

"Bella god damn it tell me what's wrong!" he yelled as I heard his fist hit something in the background.

"Are you okay? Has someone done something to you?" he asked now frantic and worried.

"Are you at home?" he questioned.

Before I could even finish my muttered yes the line went dead.

I figured he would be over soon and I would have to explain to tell him, I knew this would change everything between us, I hoped and wished as I sobbed that he wouldn't just abandon me, I mean he had been understanding about Jane, but we are different we aren't married, I was just his mistress.

I hauled myself out of bed and along to the bathroom I knew I couldn't tell him but I would make myself do it. I wasn't going to wimp out of this, it was both our problem, I decided to just show him the test and just hoped he would connect the dots.

As I thought about it, it was a smart enough plan despite it being a tad tacky and lame.

I walked downstairs and started preparing myself for the worst; I needed to build walls to protect myself.

But by now I couldn't even hear the sobs erupting from my chest, the only fact I knew I was still crying was the streams rolling down my neck and trailing along my collarbone.

I tapped the test against my fingers as I paced down the hallway, looking in the mirror I didn't even recognize the girl standing in front of me as I wondered how he would react.

I bunched the front of my hair back, as my back slid down the wall and just sat there staring not even thinking or worrying for this moment I felt lifeless.

Hearing tires on the gravel driveway, I felt the nerves bundling in my stomach, I wished it was easier that I could of just spent this weekend alone with Edward, but it wasn't as this was real life and I had utterly and royally fucked up.

I shut my eyes, afraid of what was going to happen I couldn't lose him. I loved him to much, so much that I was almost painful. I had to tell him I didn't want to be like Jane and hide this fact that I was carrying his child, or even worse get rid of it all together and never tell him.

Things might work out for the best I tried to tell myself. But who was I kidding did I really believe that everyone gets a happily ever after, that Edward would ride up on a big white horse come rescue me and we would ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after...but we weren't and I wasn't six anymore.

As I felt the front door drag across the floor, my heart beat quicken as the weight of the test on my lap suddenly felt like a ton of bricks falling against my legs.

I heard his footsteps coming across the creaking floorboard towards me, he didn't speak.

I shut my eyes I couldn't bear to look at him, feeling his hands graze my cheek I sighed, placing my hand over his as the tears ran over his fingertips.

"Bella open your eyes." he whispered.

Slowly opening my eyes I saw him, looking confused, and his sad green eyes bore into mine.

"Edward...I'm.....Edward." I stutter, but I couldn't speak, I couldn't find the proper words. Before I muttered my second attempted sentence his lips silenced mine.

My lips desperately met his as my hands found his hair grasping at his roots forcing him closer because right now this was all I needed, this one last kiss before he would before he would ...leave.

But I had to stop to tell him, but I couldn't the feel of his hot breath on my lips, his icy hands leaving small shivering trails on the small of my back, this was my safe haven. I let a moan escape my lips as his teeth grazed my bottom lip. Sighing I pulled back before we could take this even further.

"Edward we need to stop." I sobbed.

"I have to tell...you I'm...I'm.....just look!" I said, pushing the test against his chest, my eyes shot down to the floor not daring to look at him.

But I needed to know what was happening, I peered through my eyelashes seeing that his face was in shock and his eyes had darkened black from the shock. His body was now slumped against the stairs, the test still in hand sitting limply at his side. I just stared at him waiting for some kind of reaction and waiting for him to speak, just something on his part but nothing came. He just stared straight ahead of him his eyes glazed over his head low and his brow furrowed.

"Bella.....I..." he whispered, unable to finish his sentence.

I felt the pain rising within me already, he was going to leave breaking my heart in the process. I could feel the tears forming already. I wouldn't cry, I wanted to make him leave, not to have him walk out on me, but I just didn't have the strength to do it.

My eyes met his this time and we just sat there staring at the test saying nothing not moving, or anything.

"Bella ...I can't do this not now I just can't." he whispered.

I can't believe he thinks he has it bad, there was always a possibility of this happening it takes two to tango and all that, I could feel my old self coming back now, I have hidden her away for so long I forgot most of my own morals, myself basically, I knew my heart was breaking right now at him leaving but I wouldn't let him see that, he needed to leave now.

"You can't? You can't Edward I'm the one who's life is ruined I'm the one who's 17 and pregnant I'm the one who will be known as a little home wrecker and you think you cant!" I yelled, angrily now.

"Just listen to me Bella please, I'm your teacher, I'm married for now and I have Ness I just need you to understand please for me!" He begged.

"You should of thought of all of that before you fucked your underage student, yes you're married, you're perverted, and this is all your fault as much as it is mine." I said now standing facing him as I glanced down at my stomach.

"Please, I just need some time away from you from it all from this whole horrible situation, I knew this was a mistake from the beginning I just couldn't control myself it was stupid and wrong I'm sorry." he said, reaching to hold my hand I snatched my hand back, how dare he try that does he not even realize what he's saying that I was a regretted mistake.

"Edward leave just go, I always knew this would happen I can't depend on no one but myself, never could never will and I was foolish to ever think otherwise about you ...you're just like the rest of them now get out of my house! NOW!!!" I screamed, he needed to leave, before I would breakdown and do something I would regret.

"I love you Bella....that hasn't changed." He whispered as he headed towards the door.

"Go leave and go back to your darling wife, go fuck her because you certainly won't be fucking me!" I yelled as I slammed the door behind him.

As I heard the tires hit against the gravel and onto the road I let the tears flow, I was proud of myself, for shouting back for letting all the pent up anger and worries in me out. I ran upstairs not wanting to stay here anymore Charlie wouldn't be back until Monday.

_Charlie ..., I had no idea how to tell him, I couldn't he would go nuclear especially when he finds out its Edward's baby, I winced at the thought._

Grabbing my already packed duffel bag I headed down stairs and out to my truck. I had no idea where I was going, where I was staying or what I was doing, all I knew is that I had to leave now.

As I drove down the highway I realized I didn't know where to go or what to do, I had no one, no one but myself.

Snapping out of my daydream I was suddenly aware that I had no clue were I was going, but everything strangely looked familiar almost too familiar. Then I remembered, Tristan, this is where he lived we hadn't talked in about five years, I can't believe I had forgotten about this place. It was classic American suburban type house with white front porch, blue shutters, hanging baskets, and I forgot how much I had missed this place.

Taking a deep breath I walked towards his door I didn't know whether he would hug me, or tell me to leave or worst of all not remember me at all ,his best friend..... Well ex best friend. But before I could even pluck up the courage to rap the door I heard my name being called and as I turned I hoped Edward hadn't followed me here.

Turning around at that point, I realized it wasn't Edward it was…

_Tristan._

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Please review kk I know I don't deserve them for not updating in ages but plz review. Reviews will help motivate me to write another chapter if I get enough review there will be a chapter up on tomorrow.......no Sunday ...wait why are my words changing who is this??

Edward: it's Edward and who the hell is this Tristan guy and why haven't I heard of him before???!

Lauren: look you didn't man up and be there for her now go on back to Jane, Bella and I are both mad at you ..Grrr

Edward: I know… I know I messed up please tell me where she is!

Lauren: nope this is your fault and now ur going to have to deal with the consequences of my new plot twister Tristan muah muah muah muah muah.

Edward: fine I'm now with holding right to lemons involving me until you tell me where Bella is!

Lauren: whatever no lemons for you…but that doesn't mean anything about Tristan and Bella…hahaha now get out of my head before I do something u will regret.

Edward: thanks for me making me look like a prick.

Lauren: as always Edward it was my pleasure!

So I know I have gone insane but oh well sometimes that's fun!

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	16. Chapter 15

_A__**/N sorry for my lateness.....don't listen to me ramble lol just read.**_

_**Edward- Lauren you have left me hanging in your thoughts for weeks now, what is your problem?**_

_**Lauren-*sighs*I'm sorry Edward you know how this story is going to go, stop being so hard on me.**_

_**Edward- Yes I do know and frankly I need to see my Bella soon you can't leave me an assward for much longer.**_

_**Lauren- Edward excuse me do I need to remind you ...I had u showing up at Bella's with ice cream and making everything ok...you were the one who changed that not me...you told me that isn't how it goes.**_

_**Edward- But ...Lauren...**_

_**Lauren- but nothing now just go and leave these people to read.**_

_**Edward- sorry readers.**_

_**Once again I would like to thank my beautiful beta. Twilightnaley19...and all you loyal reviewers and readers who have stuck by me thanks ,I love you all for taking time to read this really....also to everyone who I have promised a part in the story too, you will be coming up in the story don't worry you all will be in it.**_

_**Also don't hate me about Tristan you will like him I promise.**_

_**xxxxxxx**_

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_Taking a deep breath I walked towards his door I didn't know whether he would hug me, or tell me to leave or worst of all not remember me at all ,his best friend..... Well ex best friend. But before I could even pluck up the courage to rap on the door I heard my name being called and as I turned, I hoped Edward hadn't followed me here._

_Turning around at that point, I realized it wasn't Edward it was…_

_Tristan._

I ran into his arms hugging him whether or not he cared, because right now I wasn't giving him an option, I missed him, I missed my friend.

I felt his arms circle around my waist pulling me into the biggest bear hug known to man, I chuckled..... I had missed him.

"Tristan your going to have to put me down ...I'm a fragile woman you know." I laughed as I felt my feet finally touching the ground.

I stood back to look at him to get a proper first look ,and all I could see was the smile that I knew plastered across his face..

"Bella it's been too long I have missed you so much, where have you been? Are you ok now? Is there anything wrong? Is Charlie ok?" he asked, now looking a bit flustered.

God he hadn't changed a bit....well physically and appearance wise of course but secretly he was still the geeky boy I once knew and loved who was tall and stringy and who listen to alternative rock.

But now Oh God now he was completely different, his jet black hair had grown out and was now sweeping across his face and across one of his eyes which were still as blue as the first day I had met him.

But his body...had...filled out...I couldn't see one piece of geeky Tristan left in there. I looked him up and down seeing that his style had changed too he was wearing a black wife beater which clung to the muscles on his chest and hugged his defined shoulders, and tight skinny jeans.

_Huh It looks like I should stop being friends with people more often, it looks like its good for them, I thought._

"Charlie's fine, calm down and I have missed you to, I'm sorry I stopped calling I don't know what I was ever thinking will you forgive me...please Tristan I really need you ...I really need a friend right now." I pleaded.

"Bell's I have always been here for you, you know that right? Because I never stopped being your friend, you did, but I knew you.... and that you would come back and agree that us falling out was stupid." he smiled.

"Look come on inside I'm sure there is people in here that have missed you more than they would probably ever miss me." He chuckled.

I smacked him playfully on the chest "Oh shut up would you!"

I looked up to see him giving me his worst or best I might say hurt puppy dog look.

I scoffed "Please like I could ever hurt you now, you're like a tank."

He shrugged, chuckling,

"True. True."

Once we got inside,I was shocked to see that nothing had change throughout the years the walls were still dressed with a dark wood paneling and cream colored walls. The same huge, brown, puffy leather sofas still took up nearly the entire living room and were still dressed with the exact same terracotta cushions. I laughed remembering the faze Tristan's mom had went through where everything had to be terracotta.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply my lungs filling with the same inviting smell of the same turf burning on the same open fire. It was comforting.

We curled up on the large sofa and I just looked at Tristan wondering how I would tell him. How I would tell him I was pregnant and about Edward. But before I even had a chance to open my mouth and muster a word, Tristan's mom Elizabeth and his older sister Emma came running into the room.

"Bella…Oh MY GOD!" They screamed in unison." You're back? We have both missed you so much." They screamed again as they crashed towards me in a hug type fashion.

I hugged them back and whispered a sorry into their ears, I had missed them too, they always had been a second family to me even after Renee died Elizabeth had taken me in and treated me like her own daughter, and Emma felt like the big sister I never had, I used to spend most of my time here when Charlie had to work, which as you guessed it was quite often.

I looked over to see Tristan laughing,

"See they love you more than there own flesh and blood."

I glanced over at Emma to see her looking at him in fake shock horror, I knew that something was going to start it always did.

"Tristan that is a shocking thing to say of course I love you little bro...Even though you're not so little anymore." Emma stated, as she slapped him on the chest.

"Ouch Emma! Lay off would you." Tristan snapped.

"No way bro, it's not my fault that even though I may be a foot smaller than you I can still whip your ass." She winked at me.

I chuckled.

"It isn't you Emma that hurt's, it's that rock you call a ring on your finger ...man I'm going to end up with some serious diamond damaged skin at this rate if you keep hitting me, who knows next time I might actually start to sparkle when light hits me." he huffed.

I shook my head at his silliness and leaned over to turn on the lamp beside him, deciding to play along.

"Oh no Tristan you're blinding me I can't see..... You're blinding me with your beauty...your. Rugged.....sparkling ...beauty." I confessed as I dramatically fainted onto the sofa.

As I acted for my Oscar performance I heard the fits of giggles coming from Emma and Elizabeth, while I heard the grunts and mutters of Tristan telling them to shut the fuck up.

"Tristan watch your language you have female visitors." Elizabeth scowled.

"Yes Tristan there are ladies present." I mocked.

"So Emma who's the lucky man then?" I questioned

I saw the smile rise on her face as she glanced down at her ring, I felt happy but at the same time I felt the pain twisting my stomach I didn't have anyone or anything to present my relationship with Edward, and Tanya did.

But I knew I had to hide my pain, luckily I had an excellent skill of hiding my true feelings or situations that were happening around me or involving me.

_Just keep smiling I told myself._

Forcing a smile on my face, I pulled at Emma's shirt trying to get her attention.

"Hello earth to Emma do I get to know about this wonderful man who's captured your heart or not?"

I looked up to see her blushing, I could feel my heart strings tugging at me, but I knew I had to keep it, I couldn't let my act fall now.

"OH Bella, he is the most generous, caring, beautiful man I have ever met I met him last year, we worked together and within 8 months I married him." she gushed.

"Emma that is so brilliant but don't think I will leave it at that you haven't even told me his name yet?" I giggled

"His name is Alec, Alec Carter ohhhh Bella I wish you could of been at the wedding, I just didn't know whether you would want to come or not" she sighed.

"Emma its fine I'll forgive you, but only if you tell me how it all happened you said you worked together?"

"Well yeah, I started about two years ago at a law firm down in Seattle you know Saunders and Spencer's right?"

I nodded for her to continue,

"Anyway I was working as his secretary and I know it sounds strange, you know me and my boss, but it didn't even happen that way, I went through six months of him sending me things like flowers telling me the scent reminded him of me.....and beautiful necklaces and poems that he had written how he thought he wasn't ever good enough for me and that he will always just watch over me and admire my beauty."

"Bit of a creep really if you ask me sending things saying I'll be watching you." Tristan chimed in as he flicked aimlessly through the music channels.

"Shut up Tristan it was romantic ...it showed he adored her...you really don't have a romantic bone in your body do you?" I scowled at him, I suppose he hadn't changed on the inside then.

"Anyway Emma so what happened? How did you find out it was him?" I questioned.

"Well at the end of my first year I ended up getting a promotion which meant I wouldn't be working for Alec anymore I had gotten the position of Alec's boss Mr. Saunders's legal secretary. So after I had a meeting with Mr. Saunders about my roles and such I got back to my old desk to see rose petals scatter across my desk and a note saying…

"So long you were my forbidden love, as I watched you from afar but now I can not contain my love as I need you in my arms."

"I followed the rose petals and they ended up leading to Alec's office, I was so confused because he had never shown any interest in me what so ever I mean I liked him but...I just never thought that someone like him would have paid attention to me. So when I finally walked in he was standing there in his office and it was covered in rose petals and candles. It was just so beautiful Bell's ...and well now the rest is history" she giggled.

I looked at her and saw she was tearing up, she really had a happy ending, they had a forbidden relationship and they waited, and it had worked out.

I wondered what would have happened with me and Edward if we had waited, would we work out, or would he have left me all alone like I was now, I knew I couldn't run from the situation even though I had pretended for the last couple of hours...I couldn't run away from this.

"Emma I'm so happy for you, you got your fairy tale ending it seems, but now I'm wondering did you have a fairytale wedding to match?" I asked

"Oh yes I'll get the wedding albums, I'll be right back, your going to love it Bell's." she laughed.

"Albums as in more than one" I asked a bit sacred of what I had gotten myself into.

"Well seven to be exact." she shouted as she ran up the stairs.

I sighed and prepared my self for the amounts of happy families and smiling couples all loved up I was about to see.

"You have asked for it now" Tristan said, smugly.

"Oh I think I have got that already, so what's up with you anyway not liking your sister's hubby?"

"No Alec's great he loves her so that's all that matters and he makes her happy he's a good guy I'm glad they have each other" he sighed as he threw the remote at the table giving up that anything half decent was on the T.V.

"So then what's up chum, upset you have no lady troubles to dish about?" I laughed jokingly.

I watched him turn around to look at me, smiling.

"Well actually I do have a girlfriend have for about a year now actually Bell's if you must know" he replied casually.

"Oh really is she a blow up then? Is she a good little doll? Does she keep the bed warm at night?" I replied sarcastically.

"Hahaha Bella you're so funny, and if you must know Suzie burst about three years ago, my poor committed doll, but this one is actually real and her name is Sarah...and actually I love her, so you're wrong I do know a thing or two about love" he stated

"Oh sailor you have been busy, well how about you rustle me up some juice and you can spill all the details I know your just dying to tell me" I joked.

He got up from the sofa and headed off to the kitchen, "Ok you're on."

I laughed, but it seemed that everyone was in this great happy relationship and I wasn't was in a confusing heart aching, destroying relationship well if I could even call it that I needed to know what was going to happen between me and Edward.

I lay my head back on the cushions hoping that everything would figure itself out. I reached down into my pocket feeling my phone buzz, looking at the screen I didn't know whether to answer or not, I gave in opening up the phone.

"Hello" I answered.

"Bella, Bella I'm so sorry I should not have done that I love you I just need time to sort things out, please I'm at your house just come away with me for the weekend we will figure it all out I promise. Are you at Alice's? I'll be there in five minutes ill pick you up at the bottom of the street."

"Edward I'm not at Alice's, I'm somewhere else, I cant see you right now do you know how confused I am how alone I felt when you left, I thought you would have stayed and understood, but no you left me you let me down just like always, and now I need time" I sighed feeling the tears rise up in my voice.

"Bella please tell me where you are, I can here you crying I just want to make thing better, I want to be the one to console you."

"Edward you wouldn't have to console me if you hadn't left me on the floor alone, when I told you I was pregnant with your baby" I sobbed.

"Bella...but I love you" he sighed.

That's when I heard it, something smashing against the floor.

I turned around to see Tristan standing in the door way the glass shattered around his feet. His eyes wide open in shock

**"Bella your what?!"**

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AN I know, I know, don't hate me ok I'm suffering serious mental block here, I'm just trying to work through it ,I know what's going to happen its just killing me trying to figure out how to put it down on paper though.

Ok girls and or boys lol prepare yourself for a tough ride with these next chapters just remember you all love me.

Please review it means so much to me, even though I haven't updated in a while I still love seeing new people reviewing and alerting and me to your favorites seriously I don't know what you all see in this story but I love you all for it.

Also do you still hate me about Tristan?

And now do you see how he ties onto the story?

Hopefully you do….

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	17. Chapter 16

A/N- **sorry for the lateness enjoy ...ps sorry if some coursework slips in with this I'm trying to multi task this and A level coursework ha!**

**Once again thank you to my beautiful Beta TwilightNaley19 and to all my international reader's ...yes international reader's!*eeekkkkkkkk* I can not live without you all, and all of your support, really you're all amazing and to all new reader's welcome and enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

As we drove through Port Angles passing the people on the busy streets I looked over to see Tristan. I smiled thinking about last night and how Tristan had done everything I had wanted Edward to do-just accept it.

*****

_"Tristan Please! Wait don't walk away! Please!" I sobbed, running after him._

_Catching his arm I pulled him back. _

_"Wait."_

_"Why Bella? Why didn't you tell me? You sat there and let me, my mum, everyone ramble on about the biggest pile of crap when you had this to tell me this to explain, Bella what's happening to you right now what's growing inside of you it's life changing!" he shouted._

_"Tristan please, just don't shout at me I just can't take it right now, I came here because I needed you.....I needed someone who would understand, who would help me, I needed you to tell me everything is going to be fine" I sobbed as he pulled me against his chest._

_._

_"Shh Bella everything will be fine...you have me I'll be here every step of the way with you if that is what you need from me....look you don't have to tell anyone I'll be here ...we can forget the scumbag you were talking to ...and even if you want to keep it...or even give it up or just not have it at all I'll be here and I'm certainly not going anywhere." he said softly now as he pulled me even tighter against his chest._

_"Tristan I can't give it up, this thing, this little person its apart of me I just can't let go its too late."_

_****_

I hadn't talked to Edward at all since last night, he had phoned a couple of times but I just pretended I didn't hear it.

As I clutched my stomach I could feel the nerves racing through my stomach. I didn't know anything about this doctor, all I knew was that I had to trust that Tristan would know what he was doing and that everything would be ok once I got there. I looked over to see him smiling at me as he squeezed my hand tighter, it was comforting.

"Bella calm down for Christ sake, stop shittin' a brick." he chuckled.

"I know I'm trying all right, but how much longer and who exactly is this doctor does he know my dad........oh god what if he knows who Charlie is! Ahhh fuck sake I can't get away for anything in this goddamn cluster of fucking villages....Tristan turn back I can't risk it." I could hear the panic in my voice as I realized how screwed I was, I couldn't hide this when Charlie had been informed by gossip central about my sitting in the park reading a book.

Jesus this was impossible, this was Forks.

"Fucking calm down Bells calm down look he is a private up his own ass, I make so much money off you poor sucks, I'll not tell your secrets to a soul type of doctor, well he better not or I will seriously be kicking his shit in for the much money he is leeching off of us, so don't worry about Charlie ,I'll protect you from that and any big bad wolf that comes after you" he winked, god he had changed, and I loved him for it.

"Look we're here now anyway Bells you may as well go in and be awfully nice to this compassionate doctor, who's only here to help and not make a quick buck out of you" he smirked sarcastically.

I hesitated in the car not wanting to get out, although Tristan had made a joke out of it all and I had laughed, this was still serious.

"Wait." he whispered holding me back "If you want ...if you have decided to change your mind and not have this baby I'll find you a different doctor someone who will take care of it all" he said hoping I would say yes.

I sighed "I know you don't really want me to have this baby, but I can't just kill it....I just can't" Leaning up I kissed him on the cheek.

I opened the door as I looked at the shiny expensive sign hanging above the door.

_"__**Privacy is our policy"**__ ugh._

I suddenly felt cheap looking at the upper class private office, but also like I deserved to be there after all this was my teacher's…a married man's baby I was carrying. So I didn't deserve the nice homely suburban doctors, like the one in TV programmes such as Everwood.

I looked back to see Tristan still sitting in his car playing with his phone, I panicked.

"Aren't you coming with me?"

"Of course for fuck sake Bell's what did I say about shittin' a brick remember, look I just have to phone Sarah she's been taggin on these coat tails of mine all day if you get me ...so I'll see you in a few okay, I just need to blow her off for a few days, she's got too clingy."

"You're a dick, you do know that right?" I questioned.

"I know of course I am, I'm a fully fledged male now I have to play a little fast and loose with the ladies keepin' them on their toes so to speak....."

I nodded.

"One more question why don't you treat me like that?"

"Cause Bell's you knew me before I looked like this, you were friends with nerdy me, so I will always be nice to you, no fast and loose for you."

I laughed.

"Now go on before you're late." he said moving his head to the direction of the front door.

As I opened the door of the doctors office, I was greeted by an overly friendly receptionist, I guessed she must not have a lot of patients, either that or just terribly nosey.

"I assume you're Miss Swan, Miss Bella Swan." she smiled sweetly.

"Yup that's me, am I late for my appointment" I wondered looking around to see if I had kept anyone waiting, nope it was empty.

"Oh no your fine, right on time the doctor will be finished in a few." she smiled yet again.

"So please go and sit down there's coffee and tea on the table in the corner and there's also a stand full of magazines beside that if you're interested"

"Thank you" I smiled, as I made my way through the frosted glass of the waiting area.

The waiting room was filled with matching large black leather sofas, which complimented the steel colored walls. Also there was a large black plasma screen TV hooked on the far left wall.

I sat down on the leather seats my body being engulfed up whole by the cushions, as I listened to soft jazz flow through out the room from the TV.

I heard the door open behind me, and I was greeted by a gorgeous looking man.

"Miss Swan" he mumbled looking up from his charts.

My, my he was beautiful at first glance he looked as if he was in his late forties, although I could tell he was older just by the air around him. His blonde hair was swept back and it had hints of silver and a graying blonde throughout it and the most beautiful golden eyes. His eyes were like two melted honey pools.

I stuttered out a yes as I began to wonder where Tristan was.

"Miss Swan could you please make your way into exam room one on the left there, as I just have to confirm a few things about your chart with Julie at the main reception. Please just go in and make your self comfortable I'll be with you in a few" he smiled warmly his voice reminding me of the velvet tones of Edward's voice.

I sat down on the spongy sea-foam green surgical bed, kicking my feet against its base. I lifted out my phone hoping to find out what was keeping Tristan so long.

He didn't answer, his line was still busy, flipping closed the phone I let my hands rest against my stomach, I felt nervous, wishing I could jut see my own Doctor.

Ahh how I longed for Doctor Well's at this particular moment.

He was a kind, caring doctor who always had a smile on his face and a red satin hankie stuffed into his pocket, and no matter what your age or whether you had teeth or not you left his office with a lollypop, a sticker and most importantly a hug, telling you that he was there to take care of you and that everything would be aright.

I wanted his kind heart and warm smile to take care of me and the baby not this stranger, but I guess I don't get what I want and I have to learn to accept that.

Hearing the door open I looked at the floor my hair falling down around my face, wishing I could leave right now or that Tristan would hurry the fuck up, I needed him, I needed someone at this moment and time.

As the doctor closed the door behind him he didn't say anything, I suppose with me slumped over like this it was best not to.

But as he came closer I could smell him and see his Italian loafers standing before me.

"Bella." he whispered.

"Yes Doctor?"

"Bella look up please" he answered again.

As I lifted my head, I was shocked.

**Edward.**

"What the hel...." I gasped, but I was silenced as his lips crashed onto mine my lips instantly responding forcing my lips hard against his I could taste something salty against my lips as my tongue met with his, then I realized they were tears. he was crying.

Breaking away from our kiss I saw his tear streaked face and I smiled I was glad that for once in our relationship he was the one crying not me.

"How the hell did you find me here Edward?" I whispered, thinking anyone could walk in on us at any moment.

"Shhhh Bell's this is my father Carlisle's office he called me when you made your appointment" He smiled.

"Wait what! Edward he knows....oh god he....ummm..oh go....he knows what the hell Edward I can't believe you told him" I stumbled shocked.

"Shhh calm down Bella, yes he knows and he's accepted us, but not so much that I'm still married to Jane and that I have you knocked up, especially since I haven't married you yet" He winked.

"Excuse me if you think you're marrying me you are sadly mistaken MR CULLEN!" I poked his chest angry now.

"Well I thought you would want to, I mean I want to do right by you Bella, you will not raise our child alone." He said firmly.

At that moment the door of the room swung open, I prayed not to see Tristan standing there, that would be too much right now.

I felt a rush of relief when I saw it was just Edward's dad. Carlisle.

I blushed, he smiled.

"Umm I'll just give you two a minute shall I" He spoke softly then he was gone.

I turned to see Edward's eyes boring into mine; I made my self not get lost in those pools of jade, because right now I was still angry.

"So what are you a moron now, how many wives have you got lined up after me then huh?" I spat bitterly.

"Well actually after you I was thinking maybe I would mail order the rest of my brides, Bella for goodness sake I'm going to marry you and only you. I want you, I have seen what it is like without you and I can't bear it, I want you and this baby" He sighed putting his hand to my belly.

Before I could speak he silenced me with his hand and connected our eyes together.

"Bella, Jane…she's gone, I packed her bags and told her to go, we can be together now properly."

NO freaking way.

I smiled as I reached up to kiss his lips.

"By the way, I'm not marrying you...... no way."

"Ahhh Bells we shall see" He murmured pulling me back against his lips.

"Shut up and kiss me, god I love you." I laughed.

"As do I." he whispered against my lips.

* * *

This is not the end of the story I just wanted to end on a good note for once so I split the chapter up into two so that for once I have a happy little chapter.....before I ruin it hahahahahah!

What ya think still hate Tristan!? Please say no. I know he's an ass so be prepared for him treating his girl like shit, but he's still nice to Bell's are you kind of getting them now, I want to change it up I'm so sick of having Jake in every story always pining after Bells it gets a bit boring after a while ya know!

X

Review!


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N do you all hate me for leavin this soooo long sorry guys my A levels took over my life ! i hope you will still read this story and love it as much as i do now this one is unbeta'd because i wanted to get it to you as soon as possible so forgive my grammer and sometimes my spelling...also my "G" button on my laptop is on drugs so it might be left out some times sorry again !**

**mucho love,laurennicolecullen !**

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS,HUH?" Tristan yellled,as I heard the door slam behind him.

I pulled away to see Tristan standing behind Edward obviously annoyed ,of what he had to catch us doing and he obviously connected the fucking dots of who I had my legs wrapped around,in a doctors office,which he was helping to pay for,because my eggo was preggo,and this for shizz wasn't some food baby.

_fuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccck,with a CAPITAL F._

Tristan walk across the doctors office and squared up to Edward immediately,"So you came in here peddled your im so charming I have a collee degree, I read love sonnets for the buzz of it ,i'm P E R F E C T and had her eating out of the palm of your hand again,didn't you !...tell me one thing Mr herbal essence why shouldn't I ruin that pretty boy face of your's right now right here,huh,I mean your paps out there could just fix you up after ,you know even go on Micheal Jackson on that face how convient is that" he spat out.

"Have you finshed yet?" I heard Edward say calmly.

"Have I fucking finshed?, you arrogant son of a bitch !" Tristan snarled back.

I could see that Tristan was getting angier but I couldn't move off the bed ,I was trapped in my own body ,wanting to stop the fight that was about to occur.

"Look junior,I know you probably know my life story by now and that Bella has filled you in on everything thats happened between us,but to be trueful she's never even mentioned you not once,I don't even know you're name and I do not care to,because lets face it your not in the least bit revelant to her life ".Edward agrued back.

Great obviously his years at Yale on the debate team was gonna pay off.

My eyes peeled off the floor to look at Tristan and what a mistake that was all the anger had gone from his face,and was replaced by something else,he was hurt and I was the one to do it yet again,for the second time.

_Shit._

Tristan eyes met mine ,god I was screwed.I could see the old vulnerable Tristan flash back in his eyes ,I could see the fact that I never told Edward about him and how much he had been a big part of my life before the fight that pulled us apart killed him,just a little.

Then suddenly he lost eye contact with me and turned and headed to the door of the appointment room before turning on his heels,to get the last word in true Tristan style.

_"_The name's Tristan what a fucking pleasure to meet you Cullen and listen Mr college degree before you ,I was her world, her rock,and yeah we may have had distance between us the past few years .But I was there ,and when you weren't supportive I was the one she came running to for comfort ,so come down oh your so mighty high horse there because your married with a kid remember " he said through gritted teeth before pulling at the handle and slamming the door behind him.

As soon as I heard that door slam my heart fell as well as my head into my hands.

"Bella look up at me " Edward said whilst pulling my hands away from my face,

"Who the hell is Tristan, and why have you never mentioned him before ?"

"Look Edward ,I dont even know what to say to you right now,Tristan left here upset because of me yet again and I never brought him up because itsmy fault we lost contact with each other,and to tell him he means nothing to me was not cool you may not know him and you're right you don't and you know nothing of our friendship ,so how dare you tell him him he was revelant to my life ".

"Fine Bella whatever you say but don't you dare put this all on me,it isn't my fault your friendship broke up or that you failed to mention him " Edward stated coldly as he started to back away from me.

I stood up from the bed and started to pace the room pulling my hair at the roots,and the more I paced the more I thought about what Tristan had said. Edward came in told me he left Jane and I practically fell at his feet ,and I was disgusted at myself for it .Ok im in a fucked up situation and iam carrying his child but I can not be that desperate girl who falls at his feet,yes I love him,god I love him ,but no I need to stand up from myself or this would never work for us if I continue to be a doormat.

I sighed " I can't do this right now we need to be apart ,talk to your dad get a new appointment date for the scan and I won't keep you from it ,I'll let you be invovled but for right now we need time apart and you need to sort your shit out,your wife left you only recently and your divorce is going to be messy,we both know it is" I stared at him with my hands on my hips waiting for his answer a look a reply anything ,but I got no response he just continued to stared at the floor.

Then his eyes met mine and he spoke " Ok Bella if thats what you need,I'll give you the time you need ,but you still havent told me who Tristan exaclty is " he exhaled obviously fustrated.

"He was my best friend Edward" and then I walked out the office door.

Walking down the hall I was greeted by a smiling Carlisle,I couldn't even a face a Cullen riht now let alone one who was the double of Edward.I smiled back at him weakly,

"Edward is waiting for you in the office sorry I have to go,Edward will explain,im so sorry"

"No worries Bella, please do come back soon i'd love to see how my little randchild is getting along " he beamed at me.

God that man was the perfect gentleman ,wasnt he.I nodded and made my way out the front door into the pouring rain ,I whipped out my phone to text Tristan to see if he would answer or reply back or ring me or even speak to me.I looked around feeling the rain seep into my converse as I tried to even begin to explain myself in a text.

At that very moment I heard a horn blast loudly over the rain it was had waited on me,to see if I was over to his car I heard marylin manson "heart shaped glasses" blasting fron his radio,shit he was hurt,oddly this song was his sad depressive song ,well it used to be anyways and I dont think that had probably changed.

I jumped into the car turning off the radio and just looked at him "Tristan,im soo sor..."

"Bella save it ok, I don't like him ok I really don't ,and I know you didn't mention me to him and it hurt but it was understandable we drifted apart so why would you ,but I knew you would come to your sense and defend yourself and get annoyed at yourself after I left ,so you wanna go home or back to mine Bells" he smiled weakly at me.

Oh god I had missed this boy,I had missed my best friend.

"Can we go to mine please,and if you don't hate me too much can we stop at the store on the way I need comfort food right now,and thats not a pregnant thing thats a im an emotional wreck girl thing " I laughed awkwardly.

"Actually get out of my car I hate you Bella Swan and your emotional problems ...i'm just kidding as long at we can get popcorn and peanut M&Ms and mix them in togehter,you know how I like my munchies" He grinned starting the car and driving out of the car park.

We finally got to my house and I sighed in relief,wanting to run up my steps and to just curl up on the sofa.

"Come on Juno lets get you up those steps...you know your baby got some fingers " he chuckled.

Good god the boy was quoting Juno ,here comes a preview of the next nine months with Tristan back in my life.

_Grrreeeeaaaaattttttttt_.

Once inside I changed into sweats tied up my hair and curled up on my sofa with the comforter,whilst Tristan was making a noise in the kitchen.

"Hey Tristan what the helll are you doing to my kitchen,you sound like a bull in a freaking china shop !" I yelled from the couch.

"Chilll the beans out Bella,trust me i'll be in in a second" he hollered back.

Seconds later he came in with tray fulll of multicoloured food covered in sugar,setting it down on the table.

"Will you please sit the fuck down and stop towering over little old me " I suggested.

" Wait for it Bells ,jeeeeezzzz I got you something else as well " he replied

"Ooooooo and what would that something be a weightwatchers members enrollment for after the birth" I said sarcastically.

"Maybe ,but since your in such a fragile state "he rollled his eyes " I picked his up at the store "

He pulled something from behind his back and there it was The Notebook DVD,oh god he really did think I was an emotional wreck.

" You didn't, omg Tristan OMG" I stated into the pillow my face was currently buried in.

"Yes I did ,now Bella this is a serious matter I will watch this shit with you because well lets face it im a stand up guy but you tell any of the boys about this I will have to kill you " he said settling down on the couch beside me grabbing a handful of M&Ms with him.

"However feel free to tell your girl friends that im a sensitive soul,who's really intouch with his feelings and loves curling up to an emotional movie,girls dig that shit" he casually stated whilst shovelling even more sweets into his mouth.

" Oh how romantic Sarah's a lucky lucky lucky girl" I said rolling my eyes.

"She's not my girlfriend Bella I don't do girlfriends remember?" he replied whilst hitting play on the DVD player.

I curled up beside him as we were greeted by an elderly Noah and Allie on my TV screen.

"Are you scared of being a mom ?" I heard Tristan whisper.

Watching Noah climg the ferris wheel,I realised,

"I'm terrified".

**and thats its folks sorry you suffered through horrible grammer and spelling hope it was worth it .**

**so was it good should i continue is the story still there ,please review and tell me please ! **

**thanks so much lauren ! xxxxx**


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